


Courage to Tell a Lie

by Diamenal



Category: GOT7
Genre: Drama, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, High School, M/M, Mystery, Slow Build, Stereotypical love-sick school girls ahoy., Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 21:21:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 41,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9566888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diamenal/pseuds/Diamenal
Summary: What would it take for you to take a stand for something?Mark had always kept to himself. While he was very popular in school, that fact in itself did nothing for him.He had five close friends, who he truly did cherish, but he always felt like their group was lacking something. He felt he was lacking something.Maybe a chance encounter would help him, and others around him.





	1. Everything has a beginning...

The wind billowed through his short blonde hair as he stood on the rooftop, the tips of his feet just dangling over the edge. His navy school blazer had been tossed to the side, leaving him in a white dress shirt that had the first few buttons unbuttoned. It was starting to rain as he looked down upon the few stragglers coming out of the school on their way home. The nights were getting dark earlier so people were going home in groups rather than by themselves.

He smiled bitterly, his fingers curling into fists as he watched the top of their heads from so high up.

Why was he alone?

He teetered on the edge as his body shook.

**\--**

"Hey, Mark." A boy with long legs and dyed white hair looked up at his friend as he packed away the clothes he'd just used for football practice. "Did we get homework in science today?"

Mark sighed quietly as he put his gym bag over his shoulder. "Yeah BamBam, we did." He sounded a little bored, like he'd been asked that question a dozen times already.

"I don't remember what it was, Yugyeom kept distracting me by pulling silly faces outside the classroom door."

"I finished it already. At lunch." Mark shook his dark brown hair out of his eyes as he looked up at the ceiling, suddenly frowning as he tried to remember something.

"You okay, bro?" BamBam looked at him curiously as he shut his locker door.

"Ah." Mark's expression softened. "I think I left my book on the roof."

"You went to the roof for lunch again? I don't understand why you can't come sit in the cafeteria with everyone. It's not that loud in there, man." He looked at his friend with a knowing smile.

"It is."

The two made their way out of the locker room and over to the nearest window. The rain was coming down quite hard now.

"I'm starting to wonder why I volunteered us to be the ones to clean up after practice..." BamBam said regretfully, peering out at the school grounds.

"I wondered that as well." Mark gave him a small smile. "Do you have an umbrella? If not you can share mine - I just have to get my book from the roof."

"I've got one. Yugyeom should still be waiting for me anyway, and his mum probably already has dinner laid out for us." BamBam gave a goofy smile and pointed his thumb at the window. "Rain check?"

Mark simply nodded in reply and waved his hand in the air as he watched his friend run through the halls - then get reprimanded by a passing teacher for doing so. Mark let out a quiet laugh before turning on his heel to make his way to his classroom, where he put his gym bag down next to his regular school bag. The last thing he wanted was to hike up a bunch of stairs with extra weight. After that, he began to make his way to the stairs for the roof.

The truth was, as much as he pretended to hate being kept so late after school to do something as boring as clean up duty, he felt relieved as it lessened the amount of girls waiting around just outside the school gates. They'd try to cling onto him and ask to walk home together. He just wasn't interested in the type of girls who fawned over him without even getting to know him. His grip tightened on the banister as he climbed the stairs. The only people to take an interest in him as a person were the 5 guys in the football club, and for that he was eternally grateful. He was quiet and didn't know how to express his emotions very well, and for those reasons alone he'd previously had a hard time making friends. But now he was one of the most popular boys in the school - though he'd rather just be popular in his small group of friends.

He shook away the thoughts he'd had many times before and put his hand on the handle of the roof door. His movements halted as he suddenly realized this would have been easier if he had brought his umbrella.

"What a pain..." He muttered to himself, before opening the door to the almost deafening noise of rain. It'd really started pour down in the short time it took him to get there. He pulled his blazer down, then pulled it up over his head as a makeshift cover for the rain. His shoes hit the growing puddles on the ground with a quiet splashing noise as he made a run for his usual lunch spot. But he stopped quickly in his tracks when a flash of white caught his eye.

"What..?" Mark stood there with his mouth half open and his dark eyes widened in shock.

A boy was stood at the brink of the roof. From what Mark could see, his white shirt was soaked through completely and it stuck to the muscles on his arms and back. He'd probably been standing there a while. The drenched blonde rocked backwards and forwards slightly, his head bowed.

Mark could tell this was a bad situation. In his frantic rush to get to him, he dropped his blazer on the ground and ran. He watched the boy tense abruptly as he gradually heard his footsteps above the rain. Mark gritted his teeth and leapt out, grasping onto his wrist in a desperate attempt to stop him.

"What are you doing?!" Mark yelled, gazing up at him, his expression a mixture of worry and anger. To anyone who knew him, this kind of outburst was completely out of character. He rarely raised his voice or looked angry.

"I-I..." The blonde stuttered, his brows creased together in obvious confusion.

"Get down from there." He demanded, but in a lower tone than before.

The boy shook his head and tried to pull his wrist out of Mark's tight grip, but that just made him hold on tighter. In his frustration, he pulled on the boy just a little too hard and they both went toppling to the ground.

"Ouch!" Mark exclaimed when his back hit the hard concrete of the roof.

"What did you do that for?!" The soaked through boy on top of him was glaring with no restraint.

"What, stop you from taking your life?" Mark snarled back, his pretty boy features now hardened and full of irritation.

"What business of it is yours what I do?!" He hit the pavement next to Mark with his fist, splashing water on both of them, but there were tears forming in his eyes. Even through the rain, that was clear.

"I wasn't just going to let you... Do that." Mark stated, trying to sound calm yet also rise above the noise of the rain. He didn't want to say the word die, it sounded so final. It made him uncomfortable.

He suddenly realized how close their faces were and a faint blush rose to his cheeks. His knee was in between the boys legs at an... Awkward angle to say the least, and he could easily see down his damp shirt to his very toned frame. Mark averted his eyes quickly.

"Get off me." He murmured, in a quieter voice than he intended.

The boy blinked a couple of times, almost as if he didn't quite realize the position they were in. "Oh, sorry."

Mark felt himself release a breath he didn't realize he was holding in as he watched the blonde slowly get up and push his hair up out of his face.

"I'm... Jackson by the way." He looked a little awkward as she spoke and held his hand out for Mark to take. "I'll, you know, help you up. Since it was my fault that you fell over and all..."

Mark started to move his hand, but paused. There was something different about this guy, he gave off a different vibe than anyone he'd ever met before. It made him not know quite how to feel. But he internally got rid of those thoughts and grabbed his hand, turning it into a handshake once he was on his feet.

"I'm Mark." He slowly let go of his hand.

Jackson nodded in acknowledgement, but then suddenly looked about wildly. "Oh my god, it's raining! You're going to catch a cold if you stay out here much longer. I should have noticed sooner. Come on."

Mark pulled a face as he watched Jackson walk forward a bit before turning around to beckon him on. Why was he so worried about his health all of a sudden? This whole situation felt unreal. Regardless, he followed him to the door of the roof and they both entered it together.

"Why were you on the roof?" Jackson asked as he walked a little ahead of Mark.

"Oh." Mark stopped walking and looked up the stairs they had just descended. "My science book..."

"Eh?" Jackson turned around to look at him, his own eyes quickly following his eyeline back to the door . "Science book... You mean you left it up there?"

"Yeah. I guess it doesn't matter now, I can get a new one. It's probably -" Mark was cut off as Jackson dashed past him back up the stairs, his damp shoes making a squeaking noise each time they lifted off the steps.

"Wait, Jack..." He held his hand out in a stopping gesture, but it was too late, Jackson was already back on the roof. "Son..." His voice trailed off and his arm dropped back to his side as the door banged shut.

The sudden quiet worried him. He remembered how Jackson just was moments ago when he was on the roof, what if he never came back this time? He would be responsible, for sure. But it wasn't just that, that concerned him. There was something else. Mark frowned as he stared at ahead, like he was willing the door to open and spit Jackson back out. He went to climb the stairs but stopped short when the door flung open and Jackson reappeared, holding both a very soggy book and two sopping wet blazers.

"We forgot our blazers!" Jackson grinned from ear to ear as he stood in the doorway.

Mark was clearly taken aback, his eyes wide in awe. Just a few moments ago, this guy was thinking of doing something he could never take back, and now he was smiling as if that was just a figment of his imagination. It baffled him.

"Ah..." Mark took his blazer and book from him when handed them. "Thanks... I was going to tell you before you ran off not to bother with the book because it would be ruined... But thanks."

Jackson stood a little closer to him as he inspected the book. "Maybe it's not ruined and you can salvage it?"

Mark opened the book - which instantly fell apart. "Oh. The ink has ran as well. I guess I'll just have to do my homework again tonight."

Jackson had a look on his face like someone had just ran over his puppy. "Maybe it wouldn't have been this bad if you weren't pre-occupied with me."

"No, you can't blame yourself." Mark instantly spoke up, looking at Jackson's face intently. "Just..." He ran his hand through his wet hair and averted his eyes. "Don't do that again."

"Oh my god, you're shaking!" Jackson exclaimed, grabbing onto Marks hand as he tugged him along down the stairs.

Mark gulped quietly. He didn't expect Jackson's personality to be like this, considering the miserable position he was in earlier. It was the complete opposite of the image he had in his head. He just kept on surprising him.

As they got to the bottom of the stairs on the ground floor, a young teacher stepped out of the counselling room. She looked at Jackson in surprise.

"Jackson? Why are you still here... And you're soaking!" She walked forward a couple of steps and her eyes fell to his companion "And... Mark?" Her sight fell to their joined hands and her own flew to her mouth. "Oh."

Mark quickly withdrew his hand from Jackson's and blushed. He bowed his head to look down at the floor in embarrassment. It had felt so natural when they were alone, but having someone see it was a bit much.

"Jackson..." The teacher continued to look a little shocked for a few moments, before a big smile spread across her face. "You've made a friend! I'm so happy for you! Ah, but you're soaked. And freezing, you're both shaking!" She opened the door to the counselling room and ushered them in. "We have a portable heater in here. You both need to get out of those clothes as well. Are your gym bags in your classroom?"

After fussing over them both and giving them towels, the teacher left to get their gym bags from their respective classrooms. Jackson held his hands out to the portable heater in front of them. Mark noticed his hands shaking, then noticed the far away look he had in his eyes as he stared at his fingertips. His heart sank a little. He wanted to say something to cut the silent tension in the room, but no words came to mind. So instead, he pulled his towel up over his head to hide his face. A few minutes passed before teacher came back with both their gym bags and school bags.

"These were the only bags in your classrooms so I assume they're yours. I didn't check the seat assignments. Change here, I'll leave you do so. But don't leave, I want to talk to you both after you're out of those wet clothes, okay?" She gave a comforting smile and then left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.

Jackson was the first to make a move toward their bags. "She's nice, isn't she? You've probably not had to see her." His voice sounded like it would break at any moment. Mark couldn't see his expression, but he got the feeling it was pained.

"No..." He moved next to Jackson, unzipping his gym bag to bring out his kit. "I'm surprised she knew my name though."

"That's just what she's like." Jackson unbuttoned his shirt and took it off.

Mark's eyes widened and his breath hitched in his throat. His grip tightened on his kit as he spun around quickly and took a few steps away from him. He felt slightly stiff as he took his own shirt off.

"Would you really have gone through with it?" Mark bravely asked, once he'd calmed down the beating of his heart. Even though they weren't facing each other, he could tell Jackson had froze. The air felt heavy.

"Once everyone had left..." Jackson's answer trailed off. "I would have surely died of hypothermia if I stayed up there much longer anyway."

Mark turned his head slightly. Jackson's last words had been said in a light hearted tone, with a hint of laughter, but the feeling of the room was just wrong. He couldn't understand why this guy was pushing himself so hard. Then again, it wasn't like they were even close. Neither knew each other until moments ago. They both got changed faced away from each other and in silence.

"Sorry, I was wearing this a little while ago for football practice so I probably smell a little." Mark hugged himself as he sat next to the portable heater.

Jackson sat nearby and gave him a look, then shook his head. "It doesn't smell bad."

"Oh..." Mark sounded a little bewildered at his seemingly casual comment. "That's... Good then."

The door opened and the teacher stepped in holding some papers. "Okay! Jackson, I managed to get you transferred to Mark's class. His is missing about three people until it's full so that wasn't a problem."

"You got transferred to my class?" Mark looked from the teacher, to Jackson in confusion.

Jackson didn't seem to want to meet either one of their gaze, so he opted to lean against a nearby desk as he stared at the wall.

The teacher looked a little worried as she watched him. "U-Um, well... He's been wanting to move classes, that's all." She was being obviously evasive. "You're his friend, right Mark? I hope you'll help him get used to his new class."

"Yeah, alright." Mark responded, bowing his head a little in affirmation.

Out the corner of his eye, he saw Jackson move his hand over his mouth to hide a grin. Mark's heart thumped in his chest at the sight, so he cast his gaze downwards.

"Some girls might be jealous I've done this." The teacher looked thoughtful as she skimmed through the papers in her hands. "I get requests for them to move classes all the time. No surprise as to why."

Mark grimaced a little. He didn't need her to mention why - he already knew. The last thing he needed was for one more person in his class to bother him during the times he'd prefer to be alone. That wasn't the only reason he disliked the attention though, it was mostly because he didn't feel worthy of it. He hadn't done anything to deserve it.

"Well, I assume you'll protect Jackson." Her tone indicated she was joking, but the look in her eyes as she watched Jackson said otherwise. "You can both go now. It's dark out, so be careful on your way back home." She walked up to Jackson and put her hand on his shoulder. "Tell me if anything happens, okay?"

Jackson still wouldn't look at her, but he nodded all the same. He pulled up the zip on his jersey as he stood up and began to walk out the door. Mark gave a polite wave to their teacher before following after him.

The door to the school swung shut behind them. Mark opened up the yellow umbrella he had stashed away in his bag.

"Hey, wait..." He shouted out after Jackson, who had his hands in his pockets and his hood over his head as he walked out into the rain. "We can share my umbrella."

He looked over his shoulder at him and shrugged his shoulders a little. "Sure, if you want."

Mark jogged to catch up to him, then stuck to him close enough so the umbrella covered them both. Something about Jackson was bothering him now. He glanced sideways to get a look at his expression, which was sullen.

"Do you... Not want to go home or something?" Mark asked him tentatively. It was just a hunch of course, but he reacted in a way that made him feel it was the truth. He jumped lightly at the question, but then plastered a smile on his face as he gazed out ahead of them while they walked.

"Mm, nothing like that. Just thinking back on today, I guess." His answer was vague, but left no real room for more questions about it, so Mark simply nodded his head and looked down at his feet.

For a while, the only sounds around them were the noise of their feet hitting the wet pavement and the rain falling onto the umbrella. It wasn't exactly a comfortable silence, but it didn't bother Mark so much. His head was buzzing with all that happened just a short while ago, and all in such a brief amount of time.

"Hey, I go this way." Jackson's voice jolted him out of his thoughts. "Don't worry about looking after me tomorrow or whatever, it's not like I asked her if I could switch classes or anything." He kicked the ground lightly, but smiled at Mark as he took a hand out of his pocket to give him a small wave.

Mark stood a few feet away from him, as he hadn't realized Jackson had stopped walking until he spoke. The way Jackson looked under the light of the lamp above them made him shudder. It felt ominous. Wrong. He watched as he turned to walk down a side path. Every fiber of his being was screaming to stop him - so he did.

"Mark?" Jackson blinked a few times as he looked down at Mark's hand wrapped around his wrist. "What are you..."

"Come stay at mine?" Mark interrupted him. He knew he must sound a little desperate, asking him that all of a sudden. His motives had to be evident, but he felt a huge wave of relief wash over him as Jackson agreed.

They smiled at each other and Mark held the umbrella over him once more.


	2. Food For Thought

The door opened and Mark reached for the light switch. The apartment was instantly lit with a soft golden light that illuminated every area. It was quite expensive looking, with it's nicely decorated furniture, but it had a cozy feeling to it at the same time, with personal touches everywhere. Things like polaroids of him with his friends and family stuck neatly to certain parts of the wall, or on a cork-board along side an in depth calendar of things he had to do. There was a row of only horror DVD's on a shelf attached to the wall, and a worn, but clearly loved skateboard propped up against the side. These were just the things you could see in the hallway and living room, but they made it feel like his own space. A sanctuary. He'd somewhat disliked living alone at first, but with time he came to love it, and the apartment showed it. For a high schooler living alone, he managed to keep the place tidy as well, which he prided himself on.

Mark shook out his umbrella before placing it at the side of the door to dry off. As he stepped into the apartment he glanced back at Jackson, who had been standing a short distance away from the door with a complicated look on his face.

"Coming in?" Mark asked coolly as he threw his bags to the side. He'd deal with them later. Right now all he wanted to do was sit down in a comfortable environment.

"Is it really okay for me to come in? I feel bad imposing on you like this." Jackson tugged at his hood awkwardly, like he was truly worried he'd get sent away.

"What?" Mark grinned, showing off a little of his perfectly straight teeth as his mouth opened. "You came all this way. Just come in."

He took off his shoes, glanced once more at Jackson, then walked into the living room to lie face down on the sofa. It felt nice to be home. He buried his face in a cushion to stifle a yawn that had been a long time coming.

Jackson placed his bags neatly next to Marks before taking his own shoes off. It looked as if he was paying the utmost respect to every part of his apartment. He looked around the room as he walked in, and Mark couldn't help but smile to himself as he sneakily peeked above the pillow to watch him.

"Are your parents home? I should probably introduce myself if they are." Jackson took down his hood and ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to make it neater - which didn't work.

"I live alone." Mark stated plainly, turning over on the sofa so he was on his back. "My parents are always traveling."

"Oh." He looked at Mark briefly, before his gaze turned to a few of the polariods near him. "You all look like you're very close. I guess you miss them quite a bit."

Mark nodded in reply. "What about you?"

Jackson smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. It looked more like he was wincing. "I don't live with my parents. But I know they love me very much."

Mark held himself up on the sofa and tipped his head to one side curiously. "Do you live on your own as well, then?"

He was starting to think his bold plea to say over was an overreaction. Jackson had looked so... Distraught when he turned to go home. Mark only saw his face for a split second, but it was enough to make his body tense with worry. He thought maybe his home life wasn't great, but if he lived alone that wasn't the case. And if it was, then maybe he was just really lonely.

Jackson shook his head. "Nah. I have host parents." He stared blankly at an empty spot on the wall before he turned to Mark and smiled half-heartedly. "You hungry? I can pay for us to get some takeaway if you like."

The second he finished talking, he took his phone out of his pocket. Mark covered his mouth with his hand to stop himself from laughing. The cover for his phone was the Pokemon Squirtle, and as Jackson stared at his screen intently, he somehow saw the resemblance.

"What do you want, pizza? Chicken bucket?" He looked up from his phone and walked over to the sofa, where he picked up both of Marks legs with one hand, lifted them up and sat down where they once were. His legs were then lowered lowered to rest over Jackson's thighs. The action was so casual, it took a little while to register in Marks head. He shifted his body a little on the sofa while Jackson continued to swipe through his phone.

"Mm... Galbitang." Mark covered his eyes with his arm. Not only was he a little embarrassed, but he was tired as well. The events of the day, the adrenaline, the stress, the cold, all of it had left him exhausted. But he felt weirdly at peace with Jackson there, which made no sense.

"Galbitang, huh?" He tapped his phone a couple times and nodded to himself. "I'll get it as well, but the non-spicy version. I can't handle spicy stuff. Might as well order some dumplings too... Do you want to spicy version or non-spicy version?"

"Spicy." Mark muttered, glancing out from under his arm to look at Jackson, who was still looking closely at his phone. After a few more seconds, Jackson put the phone up to his ear and let his other hand rest on Marks legs.

He was all too aware of every move Jackson made and his lips curled upwards slightly. It was indescribable. It simply wasn't clear why they were both so at ease with each other. Though Marks heart was beating very fast, everything right now felt like it was in place. If he believed in such things, he might even say that leaving his science book on the roof was a part of his destiny, or fate. He listened to Jackson place his order, then joke around a little with the person on the other end of the phone. Was this really the same person who looked so helpless on the roof?

"It'll be here soon." Jackson put his phone down on the small table next to him and looked over at Mark, placing his other, newly free hand on his legs as well. "This is a fancy place, you have a washer and dryer here, right? If so, then I'll put our clothes in to wash." He paused as he absentmindedly rubbed his fingers on Marks legs through his sweatpants. "If not then I'll go to the nearest Laundromat. We have school tomorrow so it's best to get it done now."

Mark tried his best to ignore the feeling of Jackson stroking his leg. "They're in the room next to the bathroom, but you don't have to push yourself so much."

He vigorously shook his head, "I have to be helpful and make the most of this."

Before Mark could stop him, he'd carefully lifted his legs off him and back onto the sofa. He practically ran to the short hallway where their bags where, so he could collect their school uniforms. Jackson soon reappeared with both his arms full of their clothes. He fumbled about when trying to find the right room, and when he did, he quickly disappeared into it.

Mark sighed quietly to himself once he was alone. "Jackson..." He whispered under his breath. As if to confirm something, he pinched his arm gently.

_Bzzzzt._

His phone was vibrating in his pocket. He took it out and looked at the caller id. With a quick look at the room where Jackson was, Mark accepted the call.

"Yeah?"

"Yooooooooo, Mark. You didn't tell me the science homework! You have your book again, right? Can you just tell me the answers?" The person on the other end sounded sulky and a little whiny. In the background, someone was laughing.

"BamBam." Mark waited a few seconds, then continued. "And Yugyeom. You won't learn if you don't do it yourself. It's not due tomorrow, ask then."

"We'll do it next time, we promise! We've been so busy with football lately." BamBam continued to wail down the phone.

"My book was ruined. I don't have it anymore." Mark sat up and turned his body around on the sofa so his legs fell off the side. He ran his fingers through his drying hair.

"Ruined?" BamBam seemed to pause to think for a moment. "Ah, the rain right? I guess you really can't help... Tonight that is. Give us the answers tomorrow, okay? Bye!"

_Click._

The call had ended with Yugyeom going, "CHU CHU CHU CHUU."

Mark rolled his eyes, but looked amused. This was par for the course, and he knew at some point JB would ring him up to get the answers as well. It wasn't even that JB couldn't do the work. He was more than smart enough. He'd just really rather not do it.

Mark grabbed a remote from the coffee table in front of the sofa and pointed it upwards. The AC came to life and began to pump out heat. Since the apartment had been empty all day, it was a little chilly, no thanks to the weather outside which was still rainy - though it was more of a drizzle now. He placed the remote back on the table and glanced up at Jackson as he reappeared.

"You have a pretty complex washing machine in there. There were so many buttons. But I always did like a challenge." He stood in place and brought his phone out of his pocket to look at the screen briefly. "The guy bringing our food is like 5 minutes away just making another delivery nearby. I didn't realize it before, but I'm pretty hungry."

Mark just stared at him. Questions were starting to swirl around in his head, but he didn't want to push Jackson too far. It wasn't what questions were the right questions, and what questions could potentially send him down that dark path again. He was extremely curious about him, but it would be selfish to risk putting him in a bad place just to satisfy himself.

"Man, it feels like you're looking into my soul when you stare at me like that." Jackson scratched the back of his head stiffly, looking anywhere else that wasn't near those deep brown eyes. "I'm not going to do it again, so you don't have to be so cautious around me." He let out a short sigh.

"Sorry." Mark turned his gaze to his phone instead, where he opened up his photo gallery. He didn't particularly want to look at anything in there, he just wanted to seem preoccupied.

"Oh!" Jackson looked at his phone, then to Marks and rushed over to him. "We should take a picture to commemorate today! You know, a selfie?"

Mark's eyes widened as Jackson sat down next to him, his eyes practically sparkling with excitement. If he had a tail, it would be wagging right about now. "We look a mess..." He mumbled the words and looked back at his phone, his thumb now hovering over the camera app on his homescreen. That action alone made it obvious he was tempted by the idea, regardless of what he said.

"That makes it look more authentic, doesn't it? I mean, I know today was a bit crazy, but it turned out alright in the end, didn't it?" Jackson put his hands together and pouted. "Please?"

Mark felt weak to the act and nodded. Jackson smiled widely and put his arm around his shoulders, bringing them closer together. He pulled a tough guy face and made the peace sign with his fingers as Mark raised his phone up to a decent selfie angle. He pouted his lips excessively, suddenly feeling a little playful once he saw how natural Jackson was at it. The camera shutter went off and he heard a laugh come from beside him once the picture was shown on the screen.

"That's a pretty good one!" Jackson pointed at the picture and had a look of pure delight on his face.

Mark made a noise of acknowledgement and smiled softly as he stared at the picture.

_Ding dong._

Jackson was a little startled by the sudden noise, but quickly scrambled up off the sofa as he took his wallet out of his sweatpants pocket. "Food. Stay here, don't move. I'll sort it all out!"

Mark watched him go, then turned his attention back to the photo. He wanted to post it to instagram so he could finally update it after about a year, but the selfie felt too personal. He decided to keep it to himself. They'd known each other for less than a day, but Jackson felt like the beginning of something entirely different to anything he'd ever known before. It was refreshing.

"Food time." Jackson held the bag up in his hand before walking over to the sofa to sit in front of it. He placed the bag down on the coffee table and began to empty its contents. "I hope this place is good."

Mark slid down off the sofa to sit beside him and thanked him when he was handed his soup. He could already smell it through the lid, and thanked Jackson once more as he was handed some chopsticks and a spoon. The fact he went out of his way to treat him to some dinner made him feel even more grateful.

"There's some rice here too." Jackson took the bag off the table once everything was laid out. "And the dumplings I ordered of course." He picked one up with his chop sticks and stuck the whole thing in his mouth.

Mark laughed quietly to himself as he took the lid off his food. Jackson must have been hungry because he was digging into everything without leaving much room to breathe. Marks eyes twinkled as picked up his phone once more. The camera app opened as he tapped on it and went into selfie mode. He held the phone away from him so he could get him, Jackson and the food in the photo, then smiled in a purposefully cute way for the camera - something he hadn't done in ages, while Jackson kept on eating. His blonde hair was basically dry now, and from where he kept raking it back when it was wet, it had dried in a slicked back kind of style, which suited him. Mark took the picture and when he was sure he was satisfied with it, he decided to post it to Instagram with the caption, "What a day."

Jackson hadn't noticed a thing as he wolfed down his food, but Marks phone was soon blowing up. He had a fair amount of followers from his school on instagram, along with a whole bunch of people he didn't know that liked his aesthetic, however he didn't expect this kind of reaction to him posting a picture. Had people signed up to be notified when he uploaded? It was flattering in a way, but at the same time it was overwhelming. He opted to ignore the chimes in favor of finally tucking into this soup.

"Why is your phone going crazy?" Jackson wiped the corners of his mouth with his fingers as he stared at Mark. "Did you only just turn the sound and vibrations on again?" He smirked. "Must be nice to be popular."

"I posted a picture to instagram." Mark said, sounding aloof.

"Eh? That picture of us?" Jackson looked dumbfounded, like it was the last thing he expected to happen.

"No, I took one when you were eating." He replied, continuing to look disinterested.

"Ah, you took a selfie? You must be seriously be popular." Jackson ruffled his hair impishly, teasing him a little.

"You were in the picture as well." Mark stated plainly, while shaking out his hair to try to undo the damage Jackson may have caused.

"Eh? I was?" Jackson spoke through a mouthful of food, but once again looked astonished. "Tag me in it so I can see!"

Mark picked up his phone and opened instagram again so he could go to the comments and put in the username Jackson gave him. Once he did so, he casually gazed at some of the comments. They were mostly:  
**"Mark! You look so handsome, thank you for posting again!"**  
Or:  
**"I'M GONNA DIE HE LOOKS SO GOOD."**  
While they tagged their friends to make sure they saw the picture. But there were a few asking who the other person was.  
**"Who is your friend, Mark? He's so handsome even from his profile and while he's eating!"**  
He lost count of how many heart eyed emojis he saw.

It perplexed him a little. Jackson went to the same school as he did, he was clearly good looking and had a fun personality, yet it was like people only realized he existed today.

"Whoa!" Jackson tapped him many times on the arm as he looked at his own phone. "I just gained a bunch of followers! It was mostly strangers who followed me before. Look they're even commenting on the few pictures I have!"

Mark peered over at his phone. It didn't look like Jackson had any pictures of himself on his Instagram, just pictures of scenery, most of them taken at night. He himself only followed a few people on Instagram, like the guys from the football club and a few celebrities, but he didn't hesitate in following Jackson when he turned his attention back to his own phone. He must have noticed, because he reciprocated pretty quickly.

Neither one noticed each other smiling happily at their phones as they sat together.

Jackson put his phone down on the coffee table and nodded determinedly. "Alright! We have to eat all this food before it goes cold." He took off his jersey, leaving him in a sports vest, which showed off his nicely toned arms.

As he began eating again, Mark turned on the camera one more time and pointed his thumb towards Jackson's muscles with a mock-shocked face. He quickly took the picture and grinned to himself as he posted it with just the peace sign emoji in the caption.

Jackson side eyed him, so Mark quickly put the phone down on the sofa behind him and acted innocent. He picked up his chopsticks and ate a piece of pork while the chimes went off behind him quicker than last time, probably because both new pictures were being liked and commented on at the same time now.

"Can't you turn your sounds off?" Jackson frowned and gestured to the phone. "I turned mine off because this is our bonding time. BON. DING. TIME."

Mark smiled widely as he laughed. "Alright, alright." He turned his phone to silent and went back to eating.

It took them both a little while to finish everything on the table, but when they did, they looked content.

"I'm so full." Mark rubbed his stomach and stretched out with his other arm.

"Worth every penny." Jackson stood up and picked up a bunch of what was now trash, up off the table. The moderately sized kitchen could be seen from the living room as it was an open plan. He rounded the counter in search of a bin. Once he found it, he tipped what was in his arms inside of it.

"Wanna go walk it off?" Jackson leant against the marble counter and looked at Mark.

The rain had completely let up by now, and even though he was quite tired, he figured it wasn't a great idea to go to sleep so soon after eating. "Alright, let's go."

He got up and picked up his phone. As he reached the door, he took one of his big, warm looking coats from off the hanger and held it out to Jackson. He'd put his jersey back on, but it was still cold outside and it didn't feel sufficient enough.

"Coat?" Mark moved the hand that was holding it in front of Jackson in an attempt to get him to actually take it.

"Oh." He looked a little stunned but took the coat anyway. "Thanks, Mark."

Hearing him say his name sent a little shiver through him, but he did his best to hide it. He took another coat off the hanger and put it on himself, putting his phone into his pocket afterwards. If there was a lull in conversation, he figured he'd read some nice comments to Jackson in hopes of keeping his spirit up.

Jackson took in a deep breath as they stepped outside. He extended his arms out to either side of him and closed his eyes as he faced upwards. It was as if the night sky was cleansing him. Mark remembered the brief glimpse he caught of his instagram.

"Do you like taking pictures at night?" He asked as he stuffed his hands into his pockets to protect them from the cold.

"Yeah." Jackson let his arms fall back to his sides and nodded with a faint smile on his face. "It's quiet and easier to think. Everything looks different at night as well. When I lived with my parents, I was pretty loud and active. But even then, I needed time to reflect on everything. No one would have guessed that, though." He began to walk off and Mark quickly caught up with him.

The light hearted atmosphere from earlier had left him feeling a little brave. They were outside, so if Jackson got uncomfortable, he could just walk away. When they were inside his house, it might have been easy for him to feel trapped if he was asked any uncomfortable questions, and that wasn't what he wanted.

"Hey..." He started to talk quietly. "Why does no one seem to know who you are? You didn't transfer lately, did you?"

Mark hadn't heard of such a thing, but he figured it was the only thing that made sense.

Jackson zipped up his coat all the way so that it covered his mouth. He watched his feet as they walked. "I've been at the school about a year. If you heard of a transfer student that long ago, that was probably me."

"But... I don't understand." Mark was wracking his brain trying to come up with an answer by himself as he narrowed his eyes and stared at the sky.

"I tried to make friends, you know? But nothing felt right. I think they felt it as well. I wanted so bad for it to feel right. But I couldn't make it work." Jackson veered off and sat down on a nearby bench. Mark stood in front of him, listening intently. "Eventually I became invisible. It was a shock to me as well. I didn't think my morning greetings would be met with icy silence. I can't even be sure they were doing it on purpose. It just sort of... Happened."

Mark felt his heart ache. He couldn't imagine anyone shunning this unique guy sitting in front of him. It made him wonder why they couldn't have met sooner. The feelings he had for Jackson, the comfort they felt between each other, all of it had happened quickly. He didn't know what to say.

As he watched Jackson bow his head a little more during the silence, he took his hand out of his pocket and walked forward a few steps. When he was closer, he reached out his hand and put it on top of Jackson's head. He lifted his head up slowly and stared at Mark with big, questioning eyes. His answer was found in a soft, understanding smile.

No words were necessary. Through that simple action, Jackson was reassured. His eyes started to tear up, so he stood up from the bench abruptly and walked away from it to continue down the street. Mark stood in place, letting his hand go back into his coat, but only to take out his phone once more. He held it up once he'd opened the camera app and made sure it was on the back camera . The screen blinked and took the photo as Mark pressed his thumb down. Jackson's silhouette could be seen in the distance under a dim street lamp as he walked away. The picture had a poignant vibe to it, but to Mark it was a precious memory. This one, like the first, he wouldn't post to instagram.

He put his phone away and ran to catch up to Jackson, swinging his arm around his shoulders once he did so.

"If you're going to take care of me, you could at least hold my hand." Jackson's tone was accusatory, and his expression matched it, but it soon broke down to a carefree grin. For the first time, it felt like he wasn't forcing himself to act happy.

He laughed and instead took a hold of his hand, like he said. Even if he didn't know the full story, even if his happiness was only temporary, Mark decided to try his best to protect it.

"That's more like it, and don't you dare let go until we get back to your place, okay?" Jackson pointed a finger at him with his free hand, a playful smile still on his lips.

Mark swung their joined hands in the air as he looked around at the night time scenery.

"Okay~"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone once tweeted about how they wondered how many unposted pictures Mark has of Jackson in his gallery and it made me wonder the same thing. Gave me the head canon of Mark taking secret photos for himself.


	3. A Brand New Day

The bedroom was slowly lit with the rays of the sun that came peeking through the partially slanted blinds. Mark's eyes fluttered open and gazed upon his surroundings. He was lying on his back in a queen sized bed with the blankets covering half of him. One of the first things he laid his eyes on as he woke up was the basketball lying in the corner of the room. Even though he was in the football club, basketball had a bigger place in his heart. If there was one at this school, he would have joined a basketball club immediately, but sadly there was no such thing. Mostly due to not having a basketball court. But waking up to the sight of the basketball always made him feel better somehow.

Mark tried to move a little to get more comfortable in the bed, but slowly came to the realization that something was on top of his chest. He looked down and saw an arm. A rather muscly arm. His eyes traveled a little further to his left and saw blonde hair.

"J-Jackson?" He whispered, practically under his breath. His shock was evident, but his voice was a little hoarse and quiet since he was still in the process of waking up.

Jackson's hair had become messy during his sleep, with it falling over his eyes now. He was also in a certain state of undress - that is to say, he was only wearing boxers now. This didn't line up with Mark's memory of how they went to sleep.

**Last night at around 11:30pm**

"I don't want to be an imposition more than I already am." Jackson muttered, tapping his foot on the floor, unable to hide how nervous he felt.

Mark walked up to him and put his hand on his shoulder. "I'm taking care of you. I'd feel bad making you sleep on the sofa when my bed is big enough for both of us."

"But-" Jackson started to protest again, but Mark shook his head.

"Just come on." He went around behind Jackson and began pushing him in the direction of his bedroom.

As Jackson approached to door, he resigned himself to his fate, and while sighing, he opened it so that he wouldn't just get smushed into it. Mark laughed from over his shoulder and stopped pushing him once they stepped into the room.

"You're right, that is a big bed." Jackson stated the obvious, nodding his head in approval. He walked over to it and jumped on it, then let out a yawn. It was like as soon as he touched the bed, his exhaustion completely caught up with him.

"Whatever side you want is yours." Mark took off his jersey, leaving him in a plain t-shirt, before he sat down next to him. He had to admit, his bed felt good after the many ups and downs of the day.

"I'll take the one closest to the wall." He decided to follow Mark's lead and took off his own jersey, leaving him in his sports vest.

Mark tried not to stare like he had been earlier whenever he saw just how toned his arms were. He watched Jackson shift over to the corner of the bed, his back resting on the headboard and one of his arms leaning against the cool wall. His expression was pensive, like thoughts were swirling around in his mind with no signs of stopping. Mark had noticed he became like this sometimes, in the relatively short amount of time they'd spent in each others presence. Almost like Jackson would forget his existence near him entirely. As though he were locked inside his own mind until forcefully snapped out of it.

Mark reached out across the bed and extended his hand to cup Jackson's cheek.

"You can't sleep like that." He said softly, a small smile on his lips.

Jackson blinked twice and let his eyes fall upon Mark. He lightly nuzzled into his hand and returned his smile.

"I get quiet when I'm tired, sorry."

Mark shook his head to silently let him know it's fine. With some regret, he pulled his hand away and took a seat next to him on the bed, their shoulders just shy of touching.

"Whenever..." Mark paused and looked up at his ceiling, frowning slightly. "If you ever want to talk about anything... I can listen."

Jackson gently bumped his arm against Mark's. "That's a nice offer. Maybe I'll take you up on it one day. But I'm fine." He picked up the covers and turned away from him as he laid down. "Apart from the school stuff though, I'm fine. Everythings fine."

Mark couldn't see his face anymore, so how much of that was really true was lost on him. He figured he turned away from him on purpose though, and he said fine too many times for his liking, but he also knew he couldn't push the subject. He wanted Jackson to be comfortable and safe around him. If he ran in the other direction, there was probably no way Mark could stop him.

He put his hand on Jackson's back briefly, hoping that something, anything, was relayed to him through the action. There wasn't any way he was letting him feel alone ever again. He then hopped off the bed to turn the light out.

"You can turn it out next time." The switch made a clicking noise and the room was plunged into darkness, save for the dull light coming in through the blinds from a lamp post outside. "I'll remember."

Mark heard Jackson laugh faintly. He genuinely said it to make sure he knew there would be a next time, and that this wasn't a one time thing.

The covers rustled as he made his way back under them, lying on his back but facing his head away from Jackson. He was all of a sudden a little embarrassed that Jackson might see his sleeping face. Now that the room was completely silent apart from the sounds of their breathing, it felt more... intimate. He was a little afraid to move, so he just closed his eyes and prayed he'd fall asleep soon.

**Present day and time:**

Jackson had been wearing clothes when he went to sleep, so how did this happen? How was he now lying with his arm over him in just his boxers? Mark had froze. He wanted to move, he wanted to wake Jackson up, but his mind was fuzzy. And pre-occupied. Very pre-occupied.

Something hard was pressing into his hip. Mark bit his lower lip as his body shook slightly, his heart thumping faster than ever. If he wasn't completely awake before, he absolutely was now. While this feeling wasn't completely familiar, it also was, which left no guessing to what it was. Jackson had morning wood. Before he had time to complete processing it, he felt himself also becoming stiff and in a serious panic, he found his will to move again. Mark shook Jackson's arm frantically.

"Jackson, wake up." He tried not to sound alarmed but his voice was clearly unsteady.

"Mm..." Jackson put a leg over his and pulled him a bit closer. "10 more minutes."

Mark's entire face was going red. He knew this was a normal reaction for guys. He knew that. But his brain was scrambled. Not only was it early but this situation was bothering him more and more as the seconds ticked by. He started to slide away from him slowly, until he went too far and fell off the bed with a thud.

"What...?" Jackson's voice came from above. The noise had apparently woken him up some more. He slowly looked over the side of the bed with half-open eyes. "Why are you on the floor?"

Mark curled up a little. His sweatpants hid his current predicament well enough, but he didn't want to take any chances that Jackson would realize. He jumped as he felt fingers suddenly brush against his neck. He craned his neck upwards and Jackson was grinning at him while leaning over the side of the bed. Mark responded by blinking his eyes in confusion. He tried to look away. But before he could, Jackson gently lifted his chin, forcing Mark to look at him, and stared into the deep swirls of brown that colored his pupils.

"This has to be a dream. You're so beautiful." His voice was a little harsh because he'd just woken up, but it sounded no less true.

Mark blushed furiously, and weakly slapped his hand away. "Jackson, that's not funny."

Jackson's expression changed to shock almost instantly. He gazed down at his hand. "That hurt a little. Wait this is real?" His eyes fell back to Mark and his eyebrows creased together. "Oh... Mark?"

Jackson crawled backwards on the bed out of Mark's sight, but he couldn't hide the slight reddening of his cheeks. It seemed like Jackson, in his sleepy state, hadn't realized who he was talking to. A heavy silence settled over them. It felt thicker than the abrupt, uneasy tension in the atmosphere. They were both like statues - afraid to move out of fear of some kind of rejection from the other. Mark tried to take controlled, quiet breaths, but his mind just kept replaying what happened moments ago. It felt like his heart was trying to leap out of his chest and it was a miracle if Jackson hadn't heard it.

What was this? Girls fawned over him the majority of his time at school. They would called him handsome, sexy, and more. But it had done nothing for him. So why was it that only now he was trying to calm his beating heart down?

He was jolted out of his thoughts as a phone began to ring.

"Hm?" Jackson's voice came from the corner of the bed. He picked up his phone from under the pillow he'd slept on last night. "It's my parents!"

Mark peeked up over the bed, his fingers grasping the sheets as he tried to calm himself down. This was becoming a habit, apparently.

Jackson excitedly accepted the video call and an older man and woman appeared on the screen. He waved frantically at them.

"Hi mummy, hi daddy!" He spoke in a higher pitch than normal and his face had lit up. It was almost scary how quickly he could look completely awake.

"Gaga!" The woman on the other end sounded happy, but she soon looked a little confused. "You don't look like you're at home, where are you?"  
"I'm at my... Friends house." Jackson nervously said the words, then turned the phone around to face Mark. "Here he is!"

Mark had wanted to sneak away to give them some privacy, not to mention he also felt a little shy and still quite flustered, but as soon as Jackson turned the phone to him he gave an awkward wave.

"We've never been introduced to his friends before... It's nice to meet you." Jackson's mum had taken over the whole screen now as she inspected Mark.

"I'm Tuan Yi-En. Or Mark, if you like." He said, his hands now clasped tightly in front of his stomach as he constantly fiddled with his knuckles. It was painfully obvious he was anxious.

Jackson's mum gasped and tapped her husband on the arm as she looked at him. "He speaks Chinese! I didn't think anyone who went to school with him spoke it! How unexpected."

Her once somewhat stern expression had turned to one of pure joy. She got her husband back on screen and he gave a greeting to Mark as well, who bowed slightly in return.

"We're happy that Mark has introduced us to one of his friends finally. We were getting worried." His dad laughed quietly.

"There's nothing to be worried about, you know me. I can take care of myself." Jackson turned the phone back on himself and flexed his arm, and made sure his parents could see it.

Mark gazed at him, his eyes eventually lowering to his bare chest. His brows furrowed in a mixture of shock and anger. There on his stomach were a few faint bruises and one that looked more fresh. He curled is fingers into his palm if only to attempt to stop them from shaking. The camera wasn't on him anymore and he was grateful, because he couldn't hide his feelings right now.

"Okay, we were just checking in Gaga. Thank you Mark, for taking him in last night. I hope you two had fun!" His mum's voice came from the phone. "Don't forget to eat and go to school. Love you!"

Both parties waved and smiled at each other before hanging up.

"They generally call me in the morning, no matter what part of the world they're in. I think they have our timezone as an alarm or something." Jackson stretched his arms out above him and yawned.

Mark stood there for a moment, just watching him, his eyes unable to leave the marks on his body. He didn't know if Jackson just hadn't realized they were visible, or if he didn't care, but it still angered him. How did he get them, and why? The thing that bothered him the most though, was that they were in a place usually hidden from the rest of the world. Like they were aimed there purposefully. A secret.

"Yo, Markie-pooh." Jackson ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it up out of his eyes, only for it to fall back down again. "You're doing that staring thing again, though this time you look a little angry. You're angry staring into my soul. Did I do something?"

Mark ignored the slightly worried look he wore and climbed onto the bed to get close to his face.

"Tell me." He pointed down at the bruise, but made sure he was careful not to touch it.

Jackson followed his hand and looked down at his stomach. His eyes widened in shock and he instinctively covered the fresh one up with his hand.

"Why am I only in my boxers?" He mumbled to himself, making a point not to look at Mark. "Oh right, I guess I sleep like this normally at night. I must have woken up and went back to sleep soon after taking them off, so I forgot it ever happened..."

Mark watched as he angled his body away from him. It stung a little for Jackson to be cagey with him, but he had to remind himself that they hadn't known each other for that long, regardless of how it felt like they'd know each other for years.

"Tell me, Gaga."

Jackson flinched at the sound of his nickname. "I'm just really clumsy..." He mumbled as he shuffled down to the end of the bed, determined to get as far away from this conversation as possible.

Mark wasn't about to let that happen, though. He crawled along the bed and grabbed his shoulder from behind, preventing him from leaving.

"Clumsy?" His tone was accusatory. "Do you... Maybe get in fights with students from another school? Or just fight in general?"

Jackson turned his head slightly to look at him over his shoulder, his eyes gazing through his messy blonde locks. "Yeah..." He cleared his throat. "I fight with other students. You know how it is... Breakfast?"

Mark watched as he stood up, letting his hand fall down his back to rest on the bed. Whatever was going on, Jackson clearly didn't want to talk about it. He felt tears begin well in his eyes, so he carefully bent forwards onto the bed and buried his face in the sheets. If Jackson turned around, it would look weird, but it was better that than let him know he was trying to force back tears. Movement in the room stopped for a few moments, and a certain stillness enveloped him, as if time itself froze. It only restarted when he felt a reassuring weight on his head.

"I won't do it anymore, okay? You won't see them again. They'll fade." Jackson's comforting voice came from above as he stroked his hair. This action along with the soft tone of his voice just made Mark want to cry harder, so he waved him away with a hand while his head was still buried in the sheets. He would feel utterly humiliated if this continued for much longer, and he'd had enough of that for one morning. At least through his anger, and the sudden meeting of his parents, his erection had seemed to disappear. Small victories.

Jackson laughed and ruffled his hair roughly before taking his hand away. "Alright, alright. I'll shower first, then make breakfast with whatever you've got in the kitchen. It'll be ready by the time you're out of the shower. If you don't have a cute apron for me to wear, I'm totally buying one. Maybe we can buy matching ones." He sounded thoughtful as he walked out of the room.

Mark peeked out over the covers once he was sure he was gone. He wiped his face with the sheets. It was his hope that Jackson would one day completely open up to him, but he knew it would take time and patience, both of which he was willing to give him. He moved over on the bed to the side Jackson was sleeping on, and laid his head down on the pillow. It smelt like him. He felt the scent lulling him back to sleep.

His eyes snapped open.

"Tuan Yi-En..." He reprimanded himself in a hushed tone as he took his head away from the pillow. "You're acting like a girl in love."

**\--**

Mark hoisted his bag up over his shoulder as he walked. He shivered a little and blew his hot breath into his hands before putting them back in his coat pockets. The frigid wind poked at him like icy fingers. Through the night it had apparently snowed hard enough to stick, and all that was left when morning came were bracing winds and the streets covered in a thick blanket of white.

"The tip of your nose is red." Jackson pointed out, a slight grin playing upon his lips.

"So is yours, Gaga." Mark emphasized his nickname. He'd realized quite soon after the video call from his parents that it could be used in fun ways.

Jackson rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. "Shut up."

Mark threw his arm out in front of Jackson, stopping him in his tracks. He could see the school gate just up ahead. It felt like it took no time at all for them to get here. Did time always go this fast?

Just inside that gate would no doubt be more than a few girls. He wasn't sure he wanted to put his present company through that experience.

It had been a few moments of silence, and even though Jackson had waited patiently for Mark to explain his sudden movement halting action, the quiet was bothering him. He grabbed onto Mark's arm and put it around his shoulders.

"It's time for school, you can't just stand there was a solemn look on your face forever you know." He seemed oblivious to the potential danger awaiting them and started walking, forcing Mark to walk along with him as he held his arm in place by holding his hand that hung over his shoulder.

"There might be... A couple of girls waiting." His brows were creased and his face was tense as the gate approached quicker and quicker.

Jackson looked puzzled. "Did all of your girlfriends find out about each other or something?"

Mark's expression changed only slightly, but it was obvious he was a little angry at that remark. He pulled his arm away from Jackson's shoulder roughly. "I don't have a girlfriend, let alone more than one."

Jackson looked quite hurt by the tone of his voice, but put his own arm around Mark's shoulder, hugging him close for a few moments as they walked in sync. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, don't be mad at me Markie-pooh. If I'm to guess why they're there, it has to be because you're sooooo handsome that they want you all to themselves." He poked Mark's chest and spoke in a girly voice. "Please go out with me!"

"Jackson, come on, stop." He protested, but his bad mood had almost completely disappeared at the sight of him fooling around.

They rounded the corner to enter the school grounds and were almost instantly descended upon by a group of girls - one that was noticeably larger than usual. Mark felt Jackson's arm disappear from around his neck, but he didn't have time to wonder why.

"Mark!" A pretty girl with long hair approached him. "BamBam told the group chat that you lost your science book." She held out a blue workbook. "Please take this, I bought it before school."

"Take these pens, too!" Another girl, this time with short hair, held out a bunch of multicoloured pens still in the packet. "I don't know if you're running out, better to be safe than sorry, right?"

"I made you some chocolate, Mark." A girl with heavy makeup was the one to offer this time. "I can promise it tastes nice, I made my family taste test for me." She covered her mouth as she giggled.

Mark sighed internally and took everything the girls were offering. He'd found it was easier to just take things than reject them. The look on their faces when he said no was difficult to bear. If by some miracle he caught Jinyoung on his way to school, he would usually say no for him. Almost like his personal body guard. He was extremely nice deep down, but he appeared to have a icy demeanor to anyone who didn't know him. There was a reason he had the nickname of "Ice Prince" around the school.

"Jackson, your muscles are amazing!"

Mark frowned and turned his head in the direction of the voice. Standing in the middle of a crowd was Jackson with his school blazer in one hand while he flexed an arm. He was wearing the schools standard long sleeved dress shirt, but his muscles were distinct despite it.

"We figured you would come to school with Mark, since you were in his instagram post so late at night. Can I have your number?" A girl with curly, bright hair held her hands together as if she was praying to him with her lips pouted.

"Sure." Jackson winked and smiled brightly at her as he took out his phone.

"Oh, look at his phone cover! It's squirtle, isn't that so cute?" Another girl somewhere in the crowd sighed happily at the sight.

"They're kind of similar... Right?" One girl was happily chatting with her friend about it.

Mark felt his chest ache. It looked as if his own popularity was rubbing off on Jackson. This should have been a good thing, but it made him feel conflicted. He wanted Jackson to fit in, of course he did. But not like this. The situation made him want to storm off away from it, but he stayed rooted to the spot, just watching.

"Mark, don't ignore us!~" The girl who gave him the chocolate tugged at his coat, snapping him out of the apparent trance he was in.

"Sorry." He smiled weakly as he turned his attention to the girls again. "Don't be late for class, okay?"

That was enough to placate them. His reputation as the quiet, mysterious one helped him when it came to this kind of thing. He could say very little, give a smile, and everything would be fine.

"Gaga, come on." Mark grabbed onto Jackson's wrist and pulled him out of the crowd. A few seemed surprised to hear him speak Chinese.

He looked startled as he was dragged away from the girls. "Mark, this is a bit rude isn't it? They just want to talk."

"They want more than that." He muttered, more to himself than to Jackson.

He had nothing against the girls, really. Sure, he got a little annoyed that they were always waiting for him at the gate and sometimes even outside his classroom, but he had to respect their dedication at least. They never gave up and just wanted to show their affection. But now that, that affection was on Jackson too... Well, it bothered him more than he would admit to himself.

They made their way into their classroom. It was loud and busy as usual, but as Mark entered, the class quietened a little. This almost always happened. He figured JB or someone had told the class he liked the quiet, so they made a conscious effort to adapt to that. A few people waved to Mark as he walked to his desk, and he waved back with his free hand - his other still holding onto Jackson's wrist. He couldn't help but feel like if he let go while they were walking, he'd disappear. Now they were back at school, his mind kept flashing back to the rooftop. It still didn't make sense, even now. He looked so happy talking to his parents. Was he really going to just... Leave them? There were a lot of unanswered questions.

As he came into contact with his desk, he slowly let go of Jackson's wrist. "You're pretty obedient. Like a dog."

Jackson stuck his tongue out and panted. "Wang puppy, at your service." He gave an amused smile and looked next to him. "Oh, this desk has my name on it. Did she make it so I even got the seat next to you?"

"I was sat there, but I kindly gave up my seat for the newcomer to our class." A good looking, dark haired boy appeared next to Jackson. He put his hand on his shoulder and looked into his face. "The pictures didn't do you enough justice."

Mark's eyebrow twitched in irritation as he watched him, but he tried to keep his composure. "Jinyoung, this is Jackson."

"I know. Your Instagram updates last night were being shared on all the group chats, and your appearance this morning is also being passed around there as well." He held out his phone for them both to see. On the screen, close-ups of Mark and Jackson could been seen. As he scrolled down, more pictures appeared, all at various distances and angles.

"Is this a regular thing for you, Mark?" Jackson stared at the pictures in shock and amazement.

"Yeah, it's no big deal. I'm sure they're just bored." Mark scratched the back of his head awkwardly. He never asked for this, and for it to be pointed out so blatantly was weird.

"Jinyoung!" Jackson quickly took his hand away from the phone so he wouldn't scroll down anymore. "Send me this picture."

Jinyoung looked baffled and turned the phone to face him again. "Ah." He smirked. "Sure, I'll send you it. Just give me your details."

Mark watched them curiously as they exchanged numbers. He was a little surprised at how comfortable Jackson was with Jinyoung already.

"Wow." Jackson exclaimed, staring at his phone screen. "Don't you think he looks handsome though? Don't you?" He practically shoved the phone in Jinyoung's face to show him it. In return, he just gave a knowing smile and nodded enthusiastically, playing along with him.

"What are you talking about?" Mark was getting a little annoyed that Jinyoung was getting all of Jackson's attention so he took the phone out of his hand to look at it. "Oh."

It was a picture of Mark's profile with the rising sun in the background. He had a serious expression on his face, which made him realize it must have been taken when he was watching Jackson show off to the girls.

"Gaga..." He gave them phone back while trying to appeal to him with his eyes. "Delete it?"

"Never in a million years. Not even if you gave me a million dollars. This picture is pure art." Jackson protected the phone from Mark by holding it against his chest, like he was afraid the sheer force of his pleading eyes would erase it from existence.

"Can you choose one language and stick to it?" Jinyoung put his hands in his trouser pockets and sat in Jackson's seat, somehow managing to look both a mixture of entertained and annoyed.

"JB!" Mark marginally raised his voice and held a hand in the air, waving over the boy that just entered the room. He had sunglasses on and a pen dangling out of his mouth lazily.

He walked over to them and stood there in silence.

"Sunglasses?" Mark questioned him as he put his bag down on his own chair.

"Sun and snow are bright." JB mumbled through his half closed mouth that was still trying to hold onto the pen for whatever reason.

Mark shrugged and gestured to him, while looking at Jackson. "This is Jaebum. Just call him JB, though. JB, this is Jackson. He's new to the class."

JB took his sunglasses off, and nodded to Jackson in acknowledgement before sitting in his own seat that was in front of Mark's.

"Jinyoung, can you add me to some of those group chats? I can't keep asking you to send me all the pictures when I could just save them myself. Or are they really private?" Jackson pointed to his phone and then to Jinyoung's, which was sitting neatly on the desk.

"They're not private, they're basically for anyone in the school to join. There's respective class group chats, club group chats, and general group chats, but anyone can join them. I'll add you to them, don't worry." Jinyoung didn't look up at Jackson and instead picked up his phone and focused on that.

"Thanks Jinyoung, you're my hero." Jackson looked visibly relived. "I'll buy you something to eat as a way of properly saying thanks."

Mark intentionally looked away and folded his arms on the desk in front of him, sinking down into them as he laid his head down to rest. He felt a pang of anxiety at that word. Hero. Jackson had used it in a way that was definitely exaggerated, but it still hurt. For the time they spent together, it somehow hadn't once crossed his mind what would happen when Jackson met his friends, or just became more noticeable at school in general. He worried he would disappear for a different reason before, now it was because he was scared of being replaced. He gave a quiet, hopeless sigh and buried his face in his arms.

"Tuan Yi-En." Jackson's voice was suddenly close, close enough to feel his breath on his neck, which sent a shiver down his spine. "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. I wouldn't be experiencing this. Thank you, sincerely."

Mark froze for a few moments, and by the time he lifted his head off the desk, Jackson was sat in his seat that Jinyoung must have vacated. He took out a couple of books and pens and focused on them, not once looking in his direction. But it didn't matter. Mark smiled to himself as he watched him.

"Hey man." A voice came from behind him, causing him to jump in surprise. "Are you okay?"

Mark turned his head to the person now sitting at the desk behind him. "Youngjae... Sorry, you startled me."

"No, no. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you... Or did I?" Youngjae stuck his tongue out playfully, then beamed at him.

"You're later than usual." Mark turned around in his chair, but glanced at Jackson briefly just to make sure he was okay and to ease his own anxiety.

"My vocal coach was late, so naturally the lesson ran later than normal. I have a part-time job to pay for these lessons so I better get the full hour." He ran his fingers through his chestnut hair and wiped the sweat off his face with the sleeve of his blazer, trying to hide the fact he ran to school.

"So you should." Mark agreed readily, before swiveling back around in his chair to face the front again.

He looked sideways to Jackson, and saw him chatting happily with Jinyoung. They both had their phones out and looked to be sharing their thoughts on photos. Jackson said something and then laughed, which in turn made Jinyoung laugh. He covered his mouth with his hand and got endearing eye crinkles whenever he couldn't contain his smile. Mark put his hand to his stomach. He felt sick. Was this what it was going to be like everyday? The last thing he wanted to be was jealous that Jackson was making friends, but he was quiet and didn't talk much. Jinyoung was good at almost everything, which is pretty much how he can get away with being cold sometimes. Not to mention some people just like that type of personality. How could he match up to someone like that?

Mark shook his head and took a deep breath. He didn't want to get caught up in comparing himself to other people. He took a notebook out from his bag along with a pen and began doodling for no real reason apart from to distract himself.

**\--**

By the time school was finished, it had started snowing again. Mark and Jackson walked out of the empty gates. The fresh snow made a crunching sound against their shoes as they made their way down the street.

"There, I posted it." Mark put his phone back in his pocket and looked at Jackson expectantly.

Jackson instantly opened up instagram and saw it. Mark posted a new selfie of them both posing with a snowman they created. It was a little lopsided and lacking any kind of nose, but Jackson insisted that's what made it unique and all the more perfect.

"I haven't made a snowman since I was a kid. That was fun!" Jackson looked gleefully at Mark as he rubbed his hands together in an attempt to warm them.

"We didn't have any gloves though..." He stared down at his red hands before stuffing them in his pockets.

"It's okay, next time we'll have gloves. Really thick ones so we can build an even bigger snowman." Jackson looked up at the dark sky and stood in place, like he was savoring the moment.

Mark stopped in his tracks as well and stared at him as he felt a certain calmness come over him. The day had been difficult on his emotions. He had felt so many things he'd never really felt before and it was exhausting trying to figure it all out. The conclusion he came to ended up being quite simple. Jackson was special. Whether it was the heavy situation that helped them become friends in the first place, or just truly some kind of cosmic bond they had, it didn't matter. He was settled and at home in his heart now.

"Should we stop by your place? We should probably tell the people you live with you'll be staying at mine again." Mark paused and walked up to Jackson, wiping some melting snowflakes off his face with the end of his coat arm. "Maybe we can pick up some warmer and casual clothes as well."

Jackson slowly looked down at him. "Well... I guess that makes sense." He looked a little hesitant.

"I'll introduce myself to them." Mark tugged on his arm to indicate they should get moving again.

"That's not necessary, seriously I'll be in and out the house as quickly as I can." Jackson smiled and picked up the pace. "You can meet them another time. They're usually pretty busy."

Mark felt uneasy about it, not to mention a little rude, but shrugged his shoulders.

Jackson's message tone went off, making him stop short again as he whipped out his phone to check it.

"Jinyoung sent me a message." He sounded a little excited. "It might be some pictures I missed."

It was later in the day. It was dark out. He was tired. Mark found it hard to control his emotions like he'd been doing all day, so instead he grabbed Jackson's phone and replaced it with his hand.

"What did you say to me yesterday?" He stared into his eyes.

"I... I said a lot of things to you yesterday." Jackson shielded his eyes with he free hand. "You're doing the soul staring thing again."

"This is our bonding time, Gaga. No one else." Mark felt his anxiety wash away as Jackson started laughing. "Our bonding time!" He decided to make his point more evident by shouting the last words and stomping his foot on the ground in a fake tantrum, though through his pretend anger his bright smile shone through.

"I get it!" Jackson squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Maybe after I've gone to pick up some stuff we can go eat out somewhere?"

"Korean BBQ? I really fancy some meat." Mark put Jackson's phone in his pocket while saying a silent apology to Jinyoung. It wasn't entirely that he wanted to keep them from talking, he just wanted Jackson to himself for now. He wanted to be selfish for tonight.

"That sounds good. I can take a picture of it and update my own Instagram." Jackson had a enthusiastic gleam in his eyes.

"Is that all you care about?" Mark laughed, but looked a little exasperated.

"No, it's not. I care about you, Mark." Jackson announced, rather loudly.

"...T-That..." Mark stuttered and looked flustered. "You can't just say that all of a sudden." He wanted to hide his face, so he snuggled into the side of his coats hood, turning away from Jackson a little.

"That can't be the first time you've heard that." Jackson held his hand tighter and moved closer, peering around Mark to try to catch a glimpse at his face. "You saved me, you know? You keep saving me. Even when I lived with my parents and had a circle of friends, I didn't have anyone like you. You're special."

Once he said his piece, he moved a little bit away from Mark out of pure embarrassment. It was like he could say all these great proclamations on impulse, only to realize what he'd said after the fact.

Mark tugged at his hand gently.

"You're special to me, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Jackson speaks to his parents at any point in this story, know they're talking in Chinese - save for the times he says "Hi mummy/Hi daddy!"  
> Because Jackson is his parents baby still <3  
> I don't know much Chinese and would never pretend to, so this was the easiest way to communicate it.  
> Also whenever Mark calls him Gaga you can assume what he's said in that sentence was in Chinese. Or just in general when their Chinese names come up, they're probably speaking in Chinese. It is their language after all. 
> 
> I'm keeping it purposefully vague what language they all speak in normally. English/Korean/whatever. It's up to you.
> 
> I hope you all could perfectly picture Mark looking sideways with the sun rising in the background, while he has a serious expression on his face. I know I could when writing it.
> 
> Also sorry for the long wait time (and long chapter TT) I was ill so I couldn't really force myself to write, nor did I want to as I don't feel like I could have written anything decent. I ended up writing way more than I expected when I did start though. I hope you enjoy!


	4. Cracks in the Foundation

The snow somehow looked darker as they walked along the street. It was eerily quiet around them, their feet on the snow being the only thing to make sound as they walked. It was about 7pm now and as the night wore on, the air around them had become foggy.

Jackson had stopped talking a while ago. Mark tightened his grip on his hand, an action he hoped would be reassuring, but he didn't feel him squeeze back. If anything, it felt like his grip got a little looser.There was a horrible feeling in his chest as he watched Jackson from the corner of his eye. His face was blank as he stared out ahead of them. They had a destination, but by his lack of expression, that seemed false. It felt more like Mark was aimlessly wandering next to someone who had lost all the life in his eyes.

For a while now, there had been no sign of houses. Just trees blanketed in snow. The feeling around them was precarious, like a single snowflake landing on either one of them would make them swiftly snap and fall apart.

Mark took his eyes off Jackson and looked at the floor. He'd wished before that he was better at speaking, that he could bring up any topic just to fill the dead, uncomfortable air, but now he wished it more than ever. There was something inside Jackson that would slowly crack every time it was silent and he had time to think. Mark could feel it. It made him want to wrap his arms around him and never let go. Whether or not that action would help, he had no idea. How could he? All he knew was, he'd never felt this strongly about anything, or anyone before, and yet he felt powerless. Powerless to that vacant gaze, that held nothing in particular.

"My house is there." Jackson suddenly spoke up, his voice quiet as he indicated with his free hand out ahead of them.

Mark followed where his hand was pointing and saw an old looking house. Even against the midnight blue sky, it was obviously quite run down. As they got closer, he saw that the wooden window frames had large flakes of white paint missing, and some of the windows were even a little cracked. Not enough to let in wind, but enough to be obvious. The small garden out front was in dire need of being cleaned up and dying weeds were running rampant in between the overgrown, dead grass. Jackson opened the small, white gate and stood there, looking at the house.

"I noticed..." Mark looked around the area as he spoke. "There aren't any houses around apart from this one."

Jackson smiled as he looked at the ground, but his eyes looked sad. "I guess it's convenient for them that way."

He took his hand away from Mark's and held it up, indicating without words that he shouldn't follow him in. Mark flinched inwardly at the act, but stayed rooted in spot at the gate.

"I won't be long." He used the hand that was already in the air to wave at him, before turning around to enter the house.

Mark briefly debated on whether or not to stop him. It was evident he didn't want to go home, deep down he knew that from the first moment he mentioned family. Something felt off whenever it was brought up. But what if Jackson ran the other way when he asked for an explanation? It was a delicate subject. Never before had he been in this situation, so he didn't know what to do. He knew he had to do something. Just what?

"I'll be waiting." Mark whispered to his back. He dug one hand into his pocket and placed the other onto a fence post.

The door opened and closed. With that, a heavy silence filled the air. One that couldn't so easily be filled with the noise of feet crunching against the snow. He stared at the house in front of him, almost willing it to reject Jackson and spit him back out. Like it knew he shouldn't be there. Mark gnawed at his bottom lip nervously. It was his fault they were here, he suggested it. Did he say to come here as an excuse to see Jackson's reaction, or because he was purposefully blinding himself to Jackson's feelings on the subject? He couldn't be certain, but dread was piling up on his heart, like the snow falling on the ground. His hand gripped harder on the fence post. It felt like an eternity as he stood there. He wanted to move, to pace, to jump, anything to shake off the feeling something terrible was about to happen.

Almost as if one cue, a smashing sound came from within the house. Mark jumped in surprise and took a step forward before he even realized what he was doing. As he got closer to the door, he could hear muffled voices. He couldn't make out what they were saying, or even the tone of the voice, but nothing about this felt right. The worn looking door was within arms reach, but as he went to knock, it opened. Jackson appeared with a black barrel bag under his arm.

"Oh..." Mark was shocked at his sudden appearance, so he took a few steps back.

Jackson quickly closed the door behind him and laughed awkwardly. "Can you believe they left a vase on the edge of the table and then yelled at _me_  when I knocked it over?"  
  
Mark frowned. Not only because Jackson gave an excuse without being asked for one, but because he noticed something, other than the bag, that wasn't there when he went in. Just under his eye, on his cheek, was a thin line of red. A scratch that looked like it would start bleeding any second. Mark closed the gap between them and placed a couple of fingers just below it.  
  
"How?" He asked, anger and worry clear in his tone. "How did you get this?"  
  
Jackson swatted away his hand as gently as he could before placing his hand over the scratch. He winced at the pain. "I didn't even realize I had this... Have you seen this house though? The thing is falling apart. I'm forever scratching myself in there." He smiled as big as he could, though it looked forced. "Why do you think I don't like coming back here?"  
  
Mark was about to reply, when the door behind Jackson creaked opened. His eyes widened as he saw an older looking man, with a lot of grey in his black hair and beard, standing in the doorway. He smiled when he locked eyes with Mark.  
  
"You must be my sons friend. Thank you for taking care of him." He bowed briefly. "Please continue to take care of him, even if he's difficult."  
  
With those few words said, the door was once again closed. Mark looked back at Jackson to see him visibly shaking.  
  
"Gaga." He placed his hands on both of Jackson's arms and rubbed up and down, simultaneously trying to warm him up while calming him. "I can clean this when we're back at my place. It's all okay."  
  
His eyes bore into the scratch as a small line of blood made its way slowly downwards. Mark cupped Jackson's cheek and used his thumb to wipe it away softly. He once again had the overwhelming urge to hug him. It was too much. Without another word, he took Jackson's hand and dragged him away from the house and down the street, until it faded into the darkness.  
  
"Mark, you don't have to hold on so tight, my blood circu-" His words were cut off.  
  
Mark turned to him and wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him into an embrace. It was the last thing Jackson expected though and in his shock he tried to take a step back, but instead he slipped on the snow beneath them and fell over backwards into a pile of it. Some snow lifted into the air before covering both of them in white specks. Mark buried his face in Jackson's chest and only hugged him tighter. He didn't quite know what to say. To begin with, he didn't really know anything. Only the way Jackson looked when he came out of the house. The way he looked after he saw his host father at the door. He didn't know if words were even necessary right now, but he had to say something. Anything.  
  
"Gaga, it's okay." Mark bit back tears and forced the words out. It was all he could think of to say, so he repeated them over and over until he felt like only a sob would come out if he opened his mouth one more time.  
  
Jackson shook beneath him. Was it the cold, or something else? Mark felt an arm slowly curl around his back and then a hand on his head. There was a little force behind it, which he took as an indication not to look at Jackson until he'd removed his hand. Which was fine. Mark understood.  
  
It was supposed to be cold. They were covered in snow and the night air was cold enough to see wisps of their breath, but with Jackson underneath him and him now returning his affection, he felt warm.  
  
\--  
  
"Don't fidget." Mark demanded, but in a quiet voice.  
  
"Sorry..." Jackson pouted a little and tried to keep his head still.  
  
Mark rolled his eyes playfully and dabbed at the wound with a wet cotton bud. It wasn't that bad, really. It had stopped bleeding on the way home, and before then it was only bleeding a little. It would be sore for a short while and then start to fade away. The blemish itself wasn't bothering him, it was how he got it. If he could completely believe Jackson's story, there wouldn't really be a need to worry. But that wasn't the case.  
  
Neither had mentioned the hug since they separated from it. Nor did Mark mention how red Jackson's eyes had been once he finally looked at him. They were both acting like nothing happened. As if they never made the detour to his house. It was easier that way. If Jackson didn't want to talk about it, all Mark had to do was stop him from going home as much as possible. And if he did have to go, he would be there for him every step of the way. The trip only solidified his determination to protect Jackson from anything and everything.  
  
"There." Mark finished up and put the cotton bud to one side  
  
Jackson turned around on the small stool he was sat on to look into a nearby mirror. He inspected his face from various angles. "I guess it gives me character. Like I'm mysterious, or tough?"  
  
"Yes, you're so tough." Mark said sarcastically.  
  
"I am!" He protested against his sarcasm and flexed an arm while still looking into the mirror. "If these aren't the arms of a tough guy, I'll eat all the spicy food you can give me."  
  
"I couldn't put you through that." Mark walked over behind him and put his arms over his shoulders while he bent down to lean his chin against the top of his head. They stared into the mirror, each at each others reflection for a few moments, before Jackson clicked his tongue in fake annoyance.  
  
"You're too handsome, you're making me look bad even in the mirror." He tried to get up but Mark pushed him back down with a grin on his face, one that made his eyes twinkle.  
  
"Wildly untrue." Mark placed his hands on either side of Jackson's face, forcing him to look into the mirror as he laughed quietly to himself.  
  
"Even when I do this?" He pulled a silly face, which Mark assumed was meant to be ugly.  
  
Instead of saying anything, he pulled the exact same face and they both burst into laughter. He rolled his cheek onto the top of Jackson's head and smiled at him. He wanted nothing more than to stare at his happy reflection for as long as possible. Unfortunately, the world had other plans.  
  
Mark's phone chimed in his pocket, so he took it out.  
  
"Ah." He grimaced a little. "I feel bad."  
  
"Don't feel bad!" Jackson looked up at him, while still sat down in front of the mirror. "What happened?"  
  
Mark felt warm inside. The first thing Jackson thought to say was a reassurance. That spoke true of his character.  
  
"It's JB's birthday tomorrow. I forgot. My calendar... And everyone in the group chat just reminded me." He sighed and started to type in a short reply. "We're supposed to all go out to eat. Probably somewhere that sells a lot of fried chicken."  
  
"Oh, are you going to go?" Jackson fidgeted a little as he asked the question.  
  
"No." Mark shook his head and closed the group chat. " **We're** going to go."  
  
Jackson's face lit up. Mark felt a little bashful at the sight so he mussed up his blonde hair a little, which gave him an idea.  
  
"Look up at me, make a sexy face." Mark held his phone out above Jackson's face. He pulled a confused face in return, but shrugged and shook his head, as if to shake out all the earlier silliness. He looked up into the camera, his hair messy and in his half closed eyes, with his mouth parted just slightly. Mark snapped the picture, in which because of the angle, Jackson looked upside down. He posted it to Instagram almost instantly with no caption - the photo spoke for itself.  
  
He wasn't sure why he liked posting pictures of Jackson so much. Maybe he didn't mind Jackson getting attention when the attention was far away. Maybe he just wanted to show him off.  
  
Some of the first people to comment on the picture were the group.  
  
**Def.: What are you two even doing? lol**  
**BamBam1a: Play with us too next time!!!!!**  
**yu_gyeom: ^^^^ What he said lol**  
**333cyj333: Yo man! Jackson looks good here kekekeke.**  
**pepi_jy_: Tell Jackson to post selfies to his own account as well.**  
  
It made Mark smile. They'd all spent one day together with Jackson, mostly at lunch, yet they were each so interested. He fit in so well with them, that it was like he was a piece of the puzzle they were missing. And with him, everything made sense. He cracked everyone up, made sure they all felt included, made sure they all ate. He loved the gang, but Jackson really did make them feel complete. He hoped they all felt it too.  
  
Jackson bumped the back of his head against Mark's stomach to get his attention. "Are you sure they'd be okay with me coming? I don't want to crash a party."  
  
"Don't be silly." Mark lightly flicked Jackson's forehead. "If you checked your phone at all for the group chat, you'd see they told me to bring you."

"Oh." Jackson blinked his eyes a couple of times. "When I'm with you I almost forget I even have a phone."

"Gaga..." Mark looked down into his eyes and tipped his head to one side. "It's embarrassing when you just say things like that."

"I thought we took our relationship to the next level when you hugged me in the snow?"

Mark blushed furiously and took a few steps back, covering his mouth with his hand as his eyes grew wide.

"W-What? You can't just bring that up!" He turned away from him, and heard a high pitched, joyful laugh behind him, which only made him _slightly_ more mortified.  
  
"I'm joking, I'm joking!" Jackson bent forward on the stool and hid his face in his hands. "Ahh, why did I bring that up, now I'm embarrassed as well..."  
  
The fact that Jackson's joke had backfired on him made Mark's worries almost completely wash away. How he had the ability to change his emotions at the drop of a hat was beyond him. Like he'd decided earlier, there was just something special about Jackson. It was like he was born with a bigger soul than anyone else and when people saw that, that uniqueness drew everyone to him.  
  
Jackson suddenly made a noise and sat up straight. "Before we meet up with everyone tomorrow, do you want to go shopping, just the two of us?"  
  
Mark turned to face him once more and thought for a few moments before replying. "That sounds good. I haven't been shopping in awhile."  
  
In fact, he had a decent amount saved up in the bank. He never was one to spend much on himself. Even when it came to clothes, he'd managed to get the opportunity to be a model for a certain brand about a year back, and ever since then they sent him clothes every so often, and when he modeled he was allowed to take a majority of the clothes home. So on top of the money his parents sent him, he had spending money from the occasional modeling job.  
  
Jackson sat up and stretched. "It feels late. Wanna go to bed?"  
  
The question was innocent, but the mornings incident set his mind ablaze.  
  
"Mm." He made a noise of affirmation and walked his way over to his bedroom door, opening it for Jackson.  
  
"I'll try not to get half naked this time." He joked, patting him on the shoulder as he passed through the doorway.  
  
"Please try." Mark laughed, but in his head, he sort of wished for the opposite.  
  
**\--**  
  
"This place is huge!" Jackson exclaimed, his eyes full of wonder as they peered around the shopping mall. "I can't believe I've never been here before."  
  
"Me neither." Mark watched him for a few moments, before looking around for himself. "I come here a lot because of the guys, I guess."  
  
"Oh!" Jackson pointed out ahead of him to a Pokémon store. "I want to go in there. But you wait outside."  
  
"What, w-" Mark started to question him, but he couldn't quite finish his sentence as Jackson had already ran off in the direction of the store.  
  
He didn't really want to separate from him, but he clearly had no choice. A sigh escaped his lips and he began to make his way over to the store. Once he got there, he pressed his back against the window. Even though he suddenly felt a little lonely, he was grateful Jackson was having such a good time. Anyone could tell he loved the place. The mall was bustling with people and the sound itself was massive, with it being a blur of shoppers speaking all at once. Mark would have preferred to come on a weekday when it was less crowded - but school usually prevented that. Jackson on the other hand seemed to have no problem with the crowds. Without him nearby, Mark felt the pressure of everyone around him. He wasn't comfortable in packed places. The collar of his hoodie was constraining him a little, so he tugged at it. His chest had started to feel tight, which made it a little hard to breathe.  
  
The message tone from his phone suddenly went off so he took it out of his coat pocket.  
It was from Jackson.  
  
**"Don't peek through the store window! I can see the back of your head, don't turn around, okay?"**  
  
Mark laughed quietly to himself and fought the urge to look at him. He knew that just one glance at his face would wash away the rest of the anxiety he felt. Even though he was told specifically not to turn around, he couldn't help himself. He went to spin around on the spot, but stopped quickly.  
  
"Hey!" A man in a suit approached him, making Mark jump and attempt to shrink further into the window in surprise. "You're a handsome boy. Ever thought about becoming an idol?"  
  
He couldn't quite believe his eyes. He didn't think people actually got scouted like this in real life. Yet here was a man in his late 30's, wearing a black suit with sunglasses on indoors and his hair slicked back while he held out a business card.  
  
"Um, no." Mark muttered, folding his arms as he looked away from him.  
  
"You should think about it. You have the right look, that's for sure." The man shoved his card almost right into Mark's face.  
  
"I don't really have an interest in that kind of thing..." He shoved both his hands into his coat pockets to make it obvious he wasn't going to take the card. He wished he'd worn his mask today.  
  
"Don't be shy!" The man went to grab his arm, but stiffened as his own was grabbed.  
  
"Hey, don't touch him." Jackson was all of a sudden next to them with a stern look on his face, with his tone to match it. "Just look at his body language, he doesn't want you bothering him. And since when was it okay for someone to just grab a person and invade their space? Have some common sense."  
  
Mark blinked a couple of times in surprise as Jackson began to lecture this older man. It was like a teacher lecturing a young child who didn't understand the concept of personal space yet. Jackson pushed the mans hand away from Mark and then let go, moving to stand in between them both afterwards. Mark didn't really need the protection, if things got too much he was just going to walk away, but there was something about Jackson's overprotective nature that he couldn't help but find cute.  
  
The man looked a lot more shocked than Mark was as he stuttered out an apology and stumbled off backwards away from them, before breaking out into a jog.  
  
"Maybe I shouldn't leave you alone after all. What if that guy was hitting on you?" Jackson pouted a little and puffed out his cheeks in annoyance.  
  
"Jackson, it's alright. If any shady guy comes up to me again, I'll just call you." Mark looked at him fondly as he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Well... Alright, I guess. I'm sorry anyway, I didn't mean to leave and have you get into an uncomfortable situation."  
  
Mark shook his head in reply and glanced down to his occupied hand, grateful for a chance to change the subject.  
  
"You bought something?" He inquired curiously, leaning forwards a little to try to peek into the plastic bag Jackson had brought out of the store.  
  
"Oh!" Jackson's eyes lit up like he just remembered. He carefully opened the bag so that Mark couldn't see in and took something out. Before Mark knew what was happening, Jackson had put a headband on his head. "Pikachu ears!"  
  
Mark moved his head from side to side, making the long ears shake on his head as he tried to look up at them. "...Why?"  
  
"Why not?" Jackson shrugged and reached up, touching both ears at the same time as he smiled widely in delight. "I think Pikachu suits you."  
  
"Hm." Mark thought to himself as he gazed at Jackson, while he gazed upwards. "So you're Squirtle and I'm Pikachu?"  
  
Jackson looked down to meet Mark's eyes, worry flooding his face. "Are you... Not happy with it?"  
  
Mark shook his head wildly. "No, no! That's not it at all. Anything from you I'll... You know." In his head, he cursed at himself for getting embarrassed now of all times. "Cherish it and stuff." He mumbled the words. It didn't help they were in an open setting, and while absolutely no one was paying any attention to their conversation, it felt a hundred times more embarrassing. But the faint reddening of his cheeks was worth it once he saw how Jackson was beaming at him.  
  
"Great!" Jackson took his hand with his spare one. "There's something else I want to buy but I don't know if I'll be able to find it... It's something quite specific."  
  
"Can I help?" Mark offered as he was dragged along just behind him.  
  
"No no, it's alright I'm sure there will be something here... If there was Pokémon store..." His words drifted off as his eyes darted around the area in search of what he sought. "Maybe I should ask someone?"  
  
Jackson let go of his hand to walk up to a group nearby. He kept looking back at where he left Mark though, clearly still worried about what happened earlier. When he came back he was grinning.  
  
"Alright, I know where it is!" He looked around, his confident smile falling a little. "... Kind of. I think we need to go up an escalator."  
  
Mark was the one to grab a hold of his hand this time as he moved to lead the way. He'd been here more times than he could count so he knew the way to the escalators, even if he didn't know their eventual destination. He stepped onto the escalator and quickly tugged Jackson onto it as well on the step below him. Normally he stood a little taller than him, but now he seemed even more so. Something pressed against his back, so he craned his head to attempt to look over his shoulder. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Jackson had placed his forehead against him.  
  
"Are you unsteady?" Mark used his other hand to grab onto Jackson's arm behind him, giving it a comforting squeeze. "You'd be safer if you held onto the side here." He moved his arm and put it on the railing beside them.  
  
"It's not that..." Jackson mumbled, nuzzling his head into his coat a little more. "But thanks."  
  
They stepped off the escalator once they got to the top and resumed standing side by side holding hands.  
  
"It should be somewhere around here..." Jackson looked at Mark, concern on his face. "I want it to be a surprise so..."  
  
"Oh, you want to go to another store alone?" He didn't want to worry him so he nodded and smiled. "You can go. I'll take a look around and we can meet up at the restaurant where we're meeting everyone else."  
  
"Okay..." Jackson still looked hesitant, but in the end the urge to take care of his surprise won over, but not before he gave Mark's hand a few squeezes.  
  
Mark watched him jog off into a crowd. One of his hands reached up to touch the headbands ears and gently pinch at the soft fabric. He felt alone once more, but took a deep breath and decided to take on a mission of surprise himself. As he turned around to go in the opposite direction of Jackson, he took a few glances at the shops around him. Nothing felt right until he happened upon a shop he was familiar with. A store called Feuille. He knew they stocked his favourite brand, Chrome Hearts, and was instantly drawn to it.  
  
It was a modest sized shop. Not a lot of these luxury stores thrived, but this one seemed to be doing well. There were a few people in there, but they weren't looking at the the Chrome Hearts display, so Mark took his chance to look at the merchandise by himself. There were a few t-shirts, sweatpants and there was even a baseball cap that looked like it would definitely suit Jackson, but what really drew him in was a pair of bracelets. They were silver and the design wasn't too fancy, but it stood out at the same time. Mark knew both of them together would be expensive, and he brooded over whether or not to get him and Jackson a pair. If he found out how much they cost, he'd probably insist Mark take it back to return it. But something about them felt important, and before he knew it, he'd picked them both up.  
  
The well dressed woman at the till happily rung his items up and handed them to him in a very fancy looking bag. Mark thought nothing of it, really. His parents sent him money all the time and he made quite a bit from modeling. Since money wasn't an issue for him, he was usually careful with it, so this purchase wouldn't make much of a dent. He walked out of the store and decided to make a beeline to the nearest Starbucks. He hadn't got a great deal of sleep the previous night. Now he knew about Jackson's tendency to undress without fully realizing it, it made him nervous, so it took him a while to get to sleep, even when he could hear Jackson's steady breathing right beside him.  
  
"A tall caffé americano, please." He took out his wallet and looked up at the board that listed the drinks. "And a green tea latte. To go."  
  
He honestly wasn't sure what Jackson would order if he was there, so he just got something random and hoped for the best. Mark thanked the cashier and walked out of the shop, back into the noise that echoed around the mall. He liked to be alone usually, but he was suddenly yearning to see Jackson. They hadn't been out of each others sight much since they'd met, and even though it was a short amount of time, it felt like the new norm. He sipped on his drink thoughtfully as he walked towards the restaurant everyone would be meeting up at soon.  
  
"Mark, Mark, Mark!" Jackson waved vigorously from his seat near the end of the restaurant as he saw Mark enter. He was sat right beside the window and had chosen a long table, presumably so that everyone who would eventually turn up could fit. Around the table were some bought decorations and balloons.  
  
"This was the surprise?" Mark motioned to them as he took a seat next to Jackson.  
  
"Oh, a part of it I guess." Jackson turned to his side briefly before producing a bag for Mark to take. "Tada!"  
  
Mark was stunned. He was still wearing the headband he'd bought him earlier, so what could be in here? Instead of opening it to check right away, he sneakily took his own bracelet out of his bag, and gave it to Jackson, along with the green tea latte.  
  
"What's this?" Jackson pointed at the bag that was now resting in his lap.  
  
"I was left to my own devices, I can't be blamed for what I do when you're not around." Mark teased, now looking into the bag that Jackson gave him.  
  
He pulled out one thing that felt and looked soft. When it was in the light of day, he saw it was a striped, blue scarf with tassels on the end. Near the bottom was also a picture of Pooh Bears face.  
  
Once Jackson saw that he pulled it out, he put on a cute voice and poked Mark's cheek gently. "Markie-pooh!"  
  
Mark cracked up at that and put the scarf and bag on the table - there was still at least one thing left in there. He took off his coat and picked up the scarf once again so he could wrap it around his neck neatly. It felt warm and fluffy. He put his hands on it and smiled to himself, genuinely touched that Jackson would think to give him something like this.  
  
"There's something else too!" Jackson seemed curious about the bag on his lap, but was clearly more interested in seeing Mark's reaction to his gifts first.  
  
"Alright, alright." Mark put his hand back into the bag and brought out something yellow. Something with long, pointed ears.  
  
Jackson had his own phone in his hands straight away, showing off the Squirtle cover. "Look, it's like mine, but it's Pikachu!"  
  
Mark wasn't entirely sure where he got the idea from, with Pooh Bear OR Pikachu, but it was more than touching that he would look at things and instantly think of him. He took his phone out and put the cover on, since he didn't have one on before.  
  
"I can't believe you got me these. Thank you." Those words didn't feel like enough. The gift around his neck and the one in his hands felt more personal than anything he'd ever received before. It really felt like Jackson saw right through him. More so than anyone else.  
  
"I just thought I should thank you, you've been taking such good care of me since we met. I'm really grateful, sincerely." His hands pawed nervously at the bag in front of him. "Can I...?"  
  
"Oh, go ahead." Mark's hand curled around the bracelet that was hidden on the seat next to him. His heart pounded in his chest as his anxiety kicked in a little. What if he didn't like it? What if he figured out how much it cost and wanted to return it?  
  
Jackson closed his eyes and put his hand in the bag. He opened them as soon as he pulled his arm out so that he could look at the bracelet, his eyes growing wide.  
  
"I can really have this?" He inspected the bracelet thoroughly.  
  
"Of course." Mark held his own bracelet out so Jackson could see. "I got us matching ones."  
  
"Wait, wait!" Jackson undid the clasp on his bracelet and put it around his wrist quickly, before taking Mark's and doing the same to his. "There." He held his wrist in the air proudly, and Mark mirrored him.  
  
"You guys are early!" A new voice came from a short distance away.  
  
Mark turned his head and immediately knew his time alone with Jackson was over. "BamBam, Yugyeom. Is everyone else coming soon?"  
  
BamBam took a seat opposite from Jackson and Yugyeom sat next to him. "Yup, they just wanted to go to Starbucks before coming here. I guess they prefer their coffee?" He motioned to the drinks Mark bought earlier. "I see you do as well."  
  
"Yeah, I guess." He replied, taking another sip of his americano.  
  
"You have matching bracelets... And kind of matching phone covers?" Yugyeom tipped his head from side to side curiously as he inspected them. "And Mark... Your head..." He stifled a laugh.  
  
"Hey, don't laugh. He looks even more handsome with this on." Jackson put his arm around Mark and drew him in close, in a protective manner.  
  
"Sorry, sorry. I've just never seen him wear anything like that." Yugyeom looked to BamBam, hoping he'd agree in some way, to which he nodded in return.  
  
"He's fashionable, I guess, but I've never seen him wear anything that makes him stand out in such a way. It suits you though, Mark." BamBam leant across the table and felt an ear, as if to confirm they really existed and weren't just a figment of his imagination.  
  
"Of course it suits him." Jackson said defensively.  
  
"Yo, what's with the headband?" Youngjae came in holding a drink while pointing at Mark.  
  
"We've already covered it. It suits him, and now we're moving on... To food!" BamBam picked up a nearby menu as the rest of the boys took their seats, apart from JB who walked up to Mark and began silently touching the ears on his headband, with a wide smile on his face, like he honestly thought they were the most adorable things he'd ever seen. He then sat on the other side of BamBam.  
  
"Happy Birthday, JB!" Jackson took a stack of birthday hats out from beside him and put them on the table. "Everyone take one."  
  
Everyone collectively laughed at Jackson's preparedness, and took a hat. Jackson put JB's on himself, making sure not to hurt him with the elastic string.  
  
"Once the food comes, we should take a picture to commemorate the moment, right Jackson?" Jinyoung fiddled about with his hat a little to make it angle off the side of his head instead of straight up.  
  
"Alright. But no one post anything until we've left the establishment, this day is just for us." Jackson pointed at each one of them accusingly, but with a hint of playfulness.  
  
"Agreed." Mark grabbed a menu from the same place BamBam did and held it out so both he and Jackson could read it.  
  
They all collectively ordered some pizzas and a bunch of fried chicken, along with a cake that would come later for JB's birthday.  
  
"Excuse me!" Jackson quickly stopped the server from leaving. "Can you take one of our phones and take a few pictures of us all?"  
  
The server politely accepted and took Youngjae's phone, who was nearest to them. The first picture, they all pulled cute, innocent smiles, along with an assortment of hearts. The second, they all pulled funny faces and the third they posed with the food. But in every single one, Mark was leaning his back into Jackson's chest and Jackson had his arms around him.  
  
"Youngjae, put it on our group chat okay? Do it now, because knowing you, you'll get home, start gaming, and forget all about it." Jinyoung gestured to his own phone, with the group chat already open.  
  
"You don't have to give a speech about it." Youngjae replied sulkily. He quickly sent all three pictures to the group chat.  
  
"Jackson, you should upload one to your Instagram. There's no pictures of you on there." JB took a bite out of a chicken drumstick. He didn't look particularly interested in anything else once he'd begun eating.  
  
"Really?" Jackson sounded a little skeptical. "I guess maybe now... It wouldn't be a bad idea." As he thought it over, he looked out the window and his eyes grew wide. Mark felt him start to shake beside him.  
  
"Gaga?" Mark frowned and put a hand on his shoulder. Everyone else at the table seemed to take notice and looked confused.  
  
"I..." Jackson stood up and picked up his coat. He looked pale. "I have to go, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."  
  
Mark stood up quickly as Jackson took off running. He could see the glint of the bracelet on his wrist as the restaurant lights hit it. How could something so bright make him feel so utterly helpless? A few of the others stood up as well.  
  
"Is... Is Jack alright?" BamBam looked between everyone, a nervous expression on his face. While others shrugged, Mark looked down at the table.  
  
"I... Don't know." He pressed his fingers into the table in frustration. His eyes fell on the untouched drink he'd bought Jackson. What should he do?  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahgase's! It's been a little while but... THE COMEBACK IS SOON. I hope you're all excited and will try to support the boys as much as possible!
> 
> Who knew not knowing a thing about luxury stores would be the most stressful thing about this chapter? Do they take returns and give refunds? Do they... Do they use tills? I'm not even sure I know how to write rich people.  
> But I digress.  
> The exact bracelet (I think) is "Chrome Hearts, Sterling Silver 925 Link Bracelet Circa 1996" in case you were wondering.
> 
> Can you tell I was sad myself when I wrote the first bit? Haha. I found a bit of solace in Markson.  
> They properly hugged this chapter. What's gonna happen in the next one? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> I hope you never get bored of photographer!Mark. If only Mark would show off how many pictures he has of Jackson on his camera roll for real.
> 
> Also since JB doesn't have an Instagram (dammit) I had to improvise what his name would be. I went with "Def" and not "Defsoul" because that's what he called himself on soundcloud.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thank you for the love I've received, it's sincerely touching.


	5. Reminiscent of the Rain

Mark raised his hands up and fought against the urge to bang them back down on the table. Other customers had already begun to whisper and stare in their direction ever since Jackson abruptly ran off. Mark must have looked a bit odd standing with his hands in the air, because JB silently leant across the table to move them back down to his sides.  
  
"Do you know what's going on with Jackson, Mark?" Jinyoung folded his arms on the table, a serious expression on his face.  
  
Mark shook his head. "Not really, no..."  
  
Contrary to what he said, he had some idea of the situation, but he was raised to believe the best in people, and to not jump to negative conclusions. He also wasn't sure how much he could say without possibly betraying Jackson's trust in some way.  
  
"Do you think we should go look for him?" Yugyeom asked while staring out the window.  
  
"No." Mark shook his head and picked up his coat. "I'll go. It's JB's birthday, Jackson would want you to enjoy it."  
  
Jinyoung narrowed his eyes slightly as he watched Mark put his coat on and pick up his belongings. "Are you sure you want to do this, Mark?"  
  
Mark looked to Jinyoung and blinked his eyes in confusion. "What do you mean?"  
  
"... It's nothing. I was just making sure." Jinyoung averted his eyes and took a sip of his drink.  
  
Mark frowned and made his way out from the table. "When I find him, I'll update you all." He looked at the floor and it was clear from his face he felt apologetic. "Sorry, JB. I'll make it up to you."  
  
"I have this." JB showed Mark his phone's home screen, which was one of the pictures they just took as a group. "I don't need anything else."  
  
Mark gave a tired smile. It felt like his spirit was given a much needed boost after seeing that. He knew the group had both his and Jackson's backs.  
  
"Don't take everything on by yourself." JB let his gaze linger on Mark for a few seconds more, before he went back to staring at the chicken in front of him. "That goes for both you and Jackson."  
  
Jinyoung put his hand on JB's wrist affectionately and let his fingers linger there. He gave him a small smile.   
  
Mark nodded in affirmation and looked at his phone, already dialing in Jackson's number. "I'm off."  
  
"Don't slip on the ice!" BamBam yelled after him as he jogged out of the restaurant.  
  
Mark focused on the dial tone as he called Jackson. He weaved in and out of crowds as he made his way around the mall. The fact that it wasn't going straight to voicemail meant his phone had to be on still, right? It was probably asking too much for the volume to be loud enough to hear, especially above the hordes of people. Knowing Jackson, it was probably on silent or vibrate anyway. He had wanted today to be fun and just for the group. The effort he went to with the decorations and the presents proved that.  
  
Mark bit his bottom lip as he stopped still in the middle of the mall with the phone up to his ear. He closed his eyes tightly and silently begged Jackson to pick up.  
  
His eyes quickly opened as someone bumped into him and somewhere in the distance, he thought he heard them apologize. But everything felt so far away, despite being so close. It was like Jackson was leaving. Not just physically, but mentally as well. Mark cursed under his breath. He never expected to come across so many situations where he felt utterly powerless. Jackson would feel close one moment, then the next it was like unknown forces snatched him away.  
  
He took his phone away from his ear and hung up when it went to voicemail, for what felt like the hundredth time. His home screen picture was one of him, Jackson, JB and Jinyoung in class. The only face he could focus on right now though, was Jackson. His smile was huge as he hung off Mark and Jinyoung's shoulders, while JB rested his chin against the top of his head from behind. No one would ever imagine Jackson's face and eyes going blank in moments of silence if they saw this picture. He gripped the phone a little tighter in his irritation. Why couldn't he do more for him?  
  
Mark jumped in surprise as his phone started ringing. Without even looking at the screen, he picked up.  
  
"Jackson!?" He yelled louder than intended, which resulted in a few confused looks from passerby's.  
  
"No, just Jinyoung." The voice on the other end of the phone sounded a little monotone.  
  
"Why are you calling?" Mark couldn't hide the disappointment and anger in his voice.  
  
"Knowing you, you're beating yourself up over Jackson disappearing. You've barely left his side since you met him, have you realized that?"   
  
Mark began walking again. "So what?"  
  
"So cold..." Jinyoung tried to make light of the situation, but his tone quickly went serious. "I just hope he's not a project to you."  
  
"A project?" He glared at the phone for a moment, as if somehow Jinyoung would feel it on the other end. "If you're calling me to make unnecessary comments, then I'm hanging up."  
  
"I'm just saying. Your life has been relatively easy. You live comfortably, you always have. But maybe that gets stale. You want some excitement. Along comes Jackson." The line went silent for a few moments. "Is he your excitement?"  
  
Mark made his way out of the mall. It was now too loud in there. He couldn't think. Before, it felt like he was fading away from everything because of how helpless he felt. But now it was like there were too many thoughts in his head and too many people talking over them. It felt like his grip on his emotions was getting weaker with each second. He couldn't control them very well right now.  
  
"How could you say that, Jinyoung?" With every word that came from the phone, he felt himself getting more and more angry. He never once thought of Jackson as a project. "I... I need Jackson." Mark blinked away tears and looked around the surrounding area, refusing to forget the reason he left in the first place. "He's this amazing soul. How people ignored his existence before I have no idea. How I didn't know of his existence..."  
  
His words trailed off. He finally said the words out loud. The guilt inside him threatened to spill out, but he rubbed his eyes furiously with the back of his hand to curb it. A part of him wanted to do anything he could for Jackson because he felt partly responsible for how he was on the rooftop that day. It was a little ridiculous, in a way. But it also wasn't. Everyone in the school could be viewed as a participant to getting Jackson into that state. To making him feel so terribly alone.  
  
"You're so predictable." Jinyoung sounded a little sad. "Look, sometimes when people stand next to someone in the spotlight, they stay in the darkness. They're still out shined. But for some people, if they're lucky, the spotlight expands and engulfs them too. You brought Jackson into a better world. My world is better for it, the groups world is better for it, and more importantly, your world is better for it."  
  
Mark was speechless as he let Jinyoung's words sink in.  
  
"I get that you feel guilty. Honestly, I think even the group does a little. But instead of focusing on the past, you need to think about what you can do for Jackson now. Don't hold back." Jinyoung took a deep breath once he finished saying all he really wanted to say. "That's all. It's cold out, so don't spend all day outside." He laughed quietly to himself. "A puppy always comes home after all."  
  
Mark gave a weak smile. "If it comes to that, I hope it's true."  
  
They both hung up and Mark stared at his phone for a little while, pondering Jinyoung's words.  
  
"He's not a project..." He whispered under his breath.  
  
Without missing a beat, he dialed in Jackson's number and started calling him again. The dial tone was getting a little disheartening, but Mark wasn't about to give up. When the phone went to voicemail like usual, he decided to leave one.  
  
"Gaga, it's Mark. Pick up, or I'll run around looking for you all night in the cold." He hung up and began to make his way around the outside of the mall.  
  
It was possible he didn't go very far, and instead just sat on a bench, but no such luck. No matter where Mark looked, Jackson wasn't there. This was what he had been afraid of. Jackson disappearing, as if he was never there to begin with. Behind his bright smile and laugh that made you laugh along with him, was something very fragile. You couldn't leave it alone for too long, or it'd shatter and be carried off by the wind. Along with everything that Jackson was.  
  
His phone began to vibrate in his hand and he quickly picked up.  
  
"Hello? Jackson?"  
  
"... I'm sorry. Don't look for me." A low, dejected voice came from the other side.  
  
It didn't sound like the Jackson he knew, but it made Mark's heart skip a beat anyway. The battle wasn't over yet, but just hearing his voice grounded him ever so slightly.  
  
"Don't hang up! Where are you?" Mark looked around him, half expecting him to show up out of nowhere. "Please, Gaga."  
  
"Go home, Mark."  
  
_Click_.  
  
The other line went dead and Mark instantly felt like throwing his phone to the ground. If he couldn't see him, if he couldn't hold onto him, how was he supposed to help? How was he supposed to stop him from disappearing? He held his phone and the bag in his other hand tightly. He didn't want this to be the end.  
  
Mark dialed in Jackson's number one last time as his hands shook, and waited for the inevitable voicemail message to play.  
  
_Beep_.  
  
"Come home, Gaga. I'm going to wait up for you. For as long as it takes."  
  
\--  
  
**BamBam: You still haven't heard from him?  
**  
**Mark: No.  
**  
**Youngjae: It's cold out. Do you think he just went home?  
**  
**Mark: No.  
**  
**Yugyeom: Well then where do you think he's gone if not back home?  
**  
**Jinyoung: Enough with the 20 questions, guys.  
**  
**JB: Mark is probably more worried than we are.  
**  
**BamBam: We are worried though...  
**  
**Jinyoung: All we can do is wait for news.  
**  
**Jinyoung: Ah, but blow up his phone guys. Make sure he knows he needs to stick around.  
**  
**Youngjae: Gotcha ☀  
  
** Mark exited the group chat quickly and turned his phone over so he couldn't see the screen anymore. Seeing no messages from Jackson only led to disappointment each time his phone made a noise.  
  
He sat on the sofa in his living room, wearing sweatpants and a plain t-shirt. He kept glancing at the clock on the wall nervously. It was almost midnight and there had been no sign of Jackson. No knock at the door or message on his phone. He glanced at the gifts Jackson had given him earlier. They were laid out on the table in front of him. Were these a parting gift? Did he know he was going to leave and never come back when he gave him these?  
  
Mark ran his fingers through his hair and checked the time again, as if he didn't just look at it a few seconds ago. Considering the day he'd just had, he thought he'd be more tired by now, but he was wide awake. His body would occasionally shake as if it was cold in the room, even though it was relatively warm. He figured it had to be nerves. At times, he even wanted throw something at the clock for making that aggravating ticking noise, and for continuing to work at all without Jackson around. Even Mark knew that was a little absurd. But the thought of Jackson never coming back made him feel hollow. He knew no matter how many people were around him, it would be like a part of him was missing. He'd feel alone.  
  
And that's what he was, in this dimly lit room. Maybe it was a cliché to sit in near darkness when upset, but Mark couldn't bear the brightness right now. Even that reminded him of Jackson. Of his smile. Of the way he effortlessly lit up the room just with his presence.  
  
Mark had been holding it together since Jackson went missing. He hadn't properly cried because he refused to. But if this went on for much longer, he knew he'd eventually have to give in to his grief. He didn't want to do that though, because whatever he felt, Jackson had to feel worse. It was still confusing, the way he left. Was it his own reflection that made him run, or was it something beyond the glass?  
  
He picked his phone back up and laid down on the sofa. His eyes glanced at the notifications he had from multiple group chats, but decided to ignore them. Instead, he opened his gallery. The group chats finally held some interest for him. There were now many pictures of Jackson taken at school by his new "fans." Before he knew it, he found himself saving a lot of the pictures, so his phones gallery was filled with them. Mark scrolled through them and smiled weakly at the amount there were of him and Jackson in the middle of laughing together. The loneliness he felt in this moment was like a vice on his heart, squeezing with just enough pressure for the pain to be practically nonstop. But it was a reminder to not give up. He closed the gallery, figuring he was being masochistic at this point.   
  
_Bzzbzz_.  
  
His phone vibrated twice in his hand and he sat up straight on the sofa in surprise, only to feel his heart drop at the caller ID.  
  
"Yeah?" He answered, sounding slightly hopeless. It's not like he wanted to have this reaction each time someone other than Jackson called, but it was impossible to fake a positive response right now.  
  
"If you keep answering me like that, I'm going to start taking it personally." Jinyoung joked, but with a hint of honesty in his voice. "I know you're probably wallowing in sadness right now, but you should really keep an eye on all group chats."  
  
"The point?" Mark sighed.  
  
"To put it simply, we took out an BOLO on Jackson. Told everyone to look out for him if they were out. Some of them even went out of their way to search for him. We've been trying to get your attention in the group chat."  
  
Mark turned to swing his legs off the side of the sofa. "Did someone find him?"  
  
"Check your group chats."  
  
With that, Jinyoung hung up.  
  
Mark felt his heart start beating faster as he scrambled on his phone to do as Jinyoung said. He opened a group chat and almost everyone was saying his name in capital letters, as a bid to get his attention no doubt. He checked a couple more and they were the same. He moved on to the group chat with the guys in and checked it. It was basically the identical, just with a few more profanities than the others.   
  
**Mark: You found him?  
  
BamBam: FINALLY. Yeah, check out this pic.  
  
** Mark tapped on the picture as soon as it appeared in the chat and saw the side profile of someone he recognized and missed even more than he let himself realize. He gripped his hair with his free hand and grimaced as he held back tears.  
  
The picture was from the side of Jackson, who sat on a bridge in the darkness, illuminated only by a nearby street lamp. He could see the faint glint of the bracelet Mark gave him earlier as it peaked out from his coats sleeve. It didn't even seem like he noticed anyone was nearby. Even from a distance, his eyes looked unfocused.  
  
Mark's hands started to shake as he realized he was sat with his legs off the side of the bridge. He couldn't tell what bridge that was in particular, nor was he sure how far down it was until whatever was beneath it. Water? If that was the case, it was still dangerous. It wasn't quite the rooftop scenario again, but Jackson was still on the edge. He quickly backed into the chat.  
  
**Mark: Whee is ths?  
  
Yugyeom: What?  
**

**JB: I think he meant, "Where is this."**  
  
**Yugyeom: Oh, duh.**  
  
**Jinyoung: You know near that store we used to go to, to buy ice cream?**  
  
**Mark: Yeah.**  
  
**Jinyoung: It closed down and hasn't reopened since, but it's near there. You can go down a side street and it should be right in front of you.**  
  
**Mark: Ok.  
  
** Mark exited the group chat for what he hoped to be the last time that night. He put his phone in his sweatpants pocket and made a dash for the door. His coat was still a little damp but he tore it off the hanger and put it on as he shoved his feet into his shoes.  
  
The ice cream shop wasn't too far away. It used to be a common spot for both him and Jinyoung. They would go there after school because it was convenient as it was located just before they would split up on their respective routes home. It was almost unbelievable that Jackson was that close by. Mark had envisioned having to take a train or bus somewhere to bring him back. But the fact he was so close by, did that mean he didn't really want to go anywhere?  
  
Mark let the heavy door slam shut behind him as he took off into the night. It was quiet, with there being less traffic around where he lived, so the snow beneath his shoes felt louder than usual. Every step was a step closer to Jackson. He was practically running by now, and as he turned a corner, he felt himself suddenly thrown sideways to the floor.  
  
"Ouch..." Mark rubbed the arm that broke his fall onto the ice beneath him. Thankfully, his legs fell on the snow that surrounded it, so there was no damage there.  
  
He clenched his teeth in an attempt to quell the anger rising in him. He knew he was being childish, he'd felt that way on and off all day, but it was like even the weather was trying to stop him from going after Jackson. For all he knew, in the time it took for him to fall over and get back up, Jackson could have left that spot. Then the search would have to start all over again, and that could mean he would go further away. It wasn't that Mark expected him to check his phone and the group chats to know he was found, in fact, his phone was probably turned off now. But he felt it somewhere inside, that Jackson was sat there pondering his next move. Because he got that same feeling on the rooftop. To jump, or just leave forever? When Jackson got quiet, and stared off into space, Mark could almost hear those thoughts start to creep up once more.  
  
He lifted himself up off the ground and gave his arm a squeeze. It hurt, but he knew it was just bruised. It wasn't unbearable, and something like this wasn't going to stop him from going to Jackson. He took off running, this time at full speed. Even if he had to pick himself up a hundred times on the way, he'd make it. Even if he was too late, he wouldn't stop looking for him. It was insane to feel this deeply about someone so new to his life, but it was undeniable. Their connection was real. They were always meant to meet, and no one could tell him otherwise.  
  
Mark managed to dodge the rest of the ice until he realized his destination was nearby. He looked at the boarded up building ahead of him and felt a twinge of nostalgia, but he shook it off and looked around for the side street Jinyoung mentioned. It was virtually impossible to see in the dark, since there were no street lamps around. This part of town looked almost abandoned. Mark took out his phone and turned on the flashlight, shining it in every direction until a gap in the buildings appeared. He dashed towards it and in the distance he could see a vague brightness. His heart thudded in his chest as he remembered the picture of Jackson. He was sat in the light of a street lamp. Mark forced his legs to move faster and as he exited the backstreet, he skidded to a halt, almost falling over again in the process. He looked in the direction of the light and his heart felt like it would stop.  
  
Jackson was still there.  
  
Mark felt a wave of different emotions course through him. He pressed the palm of his hand to his heart, and felt his knees wobble a little. He fought the urge to laugh in his relief, and instead let happy, grateful tears fall down his cheeks. More than anything, he wanted to fall to the ground and let all the anxiety leave him completely, and just be still as he watched Jackson, who was now back in his sight. But he knew it wasn't over yet. He was still a distance away from Jackson, who hadn't noticed him yet. If he did, Mark was scared he'd take off running before he could get a word out.   
  
Even so, as he watched Jackson, he could see his shoulders shaking. He wondered how long he'd been there like that. If he'd been inside at all since he left. Mark curled his hands into fists and decided to bridge the gap between them as quickly as possible. Even if it meant making more noise than sneaking up on him, it was his best bet.  
  
He was almost within touching distance, yet Jackson didn't move, or indicate he knew he was there. It really was like he was in a world of his own, and that world seemed lonely. Mark threw his arms around him from behind as soon as he was close enough. He pulled Jackson towards him and nuzzled his face into the back of his cold, wet coat. His hold on him was tight, so there was no way he wouldn't notice.  
  
"Mark?" Jackson's voice croaked out.  
  
"Gaga, you're so stupid." Mark's muffled reply was shaky, and quiet.  
  
Jackson let out a harsh, self-deprecating laugh.   
  
"Don't!" Mark yelled louder than he had in a long time. "Do you know how worried I was?! I felt like I couldn't breathe!"  
  
Jackson let his shoulders sag a little and was quiet for a moment. He weakly patted one of Mark's arms. "Speaking of not being able to breathe..."  
  
"I said, don't!" Mark could feel himself begin to shake, and it wasn't from the cold. If anything, he felt warm. "Don't just brush this off."  
  
Jackson held onto his arm and Mark felt the slight resistance from him leave his body.  
  
"Jack..." Mark squeezed his eyes closed and rubbed his face on Jackson's coat. "You don't have to tell me, you don't. I won't pry. But never just leave. I'm selfish, okay? I want to be with you all the time, so you can't just leave. I don't ever want to find you in this situation ever again."  
  
To make his point more evident, Mark pulled Jackson backwards, away from the edge. They both fell into the snow on their sides. The fall wasn't big in the slightest, so they fell somewhat comfortably, while Mark continued to hug him from behind. It was silent between them, but Jackson's shoulders had begun to shake again and the air felt tense around him. Mark held him tighter.  
  
"I..." Jackson's voice was barely a whisper. "It's okay for me to stay right? Nothing bad will happen?"  
  
Mark frowned slightly at his question, which seemed out of the blue. He wanted to ask about it. He wanted to know him inside and out. But he just promised not to pry, so instead he nuzzled his nose against the nape of his neck that was now partially exposed. "Nothing bad will happen. So never run away from me again. I don't think I handle it very well."  
  
"I don't either..." Jackson let out a short, soft laugh. "I just sat here looking at the water, unable to move in either direction because I kept thinking about you. How did you find me anyway?"  
  
Mark considered keeping it a secret, just in case, but figured after today was over, he'd read the group chats and realize by himself. "The people in our school are apparently very resourceful... When they want to be..." He said the last sentence somewhat bitterly. It seemed he couldn't quite forgive everyone at school yet. Nor himself.  
  
Jackson appeared to realize what he meant and sighed. "My phone actually ran out of battery." He took one of Mark's hands and moved it to his face, where he brushed his lips against it, and then his nose, like he was giving it eskimo kisses. They eventually moved down to the bracelet on his wrist. The same one he still had on his.  
  
"Aren't you cold?" Mark wanted to get closer to Jackson, but he was as close as he possibly could be. It didn't feel like enough.  
  
"I might be. But I don't feel it right now." Jackson was definitely shaking, but it was probably like he said. "You feel warm."  
  
"I did run here. And I have a bit of adrenaline pumping through my body still. We'll both feel the cold soon." Mark knew he should let go and help him up, but the fact he was holding him right now meant he couldn't disappear. He couldn't go anywhere.   
  
"Ah, you're right..." Jackson was the first to make a move as he hesitantly pulled himself away from Mark and stood up. It was then he started to feel a chill.  
  
Both of their faces were wet and red. A mix of the snow and their tears. Jackson held his hand out to Mark to help him up, and when Mark went to take it, he winced in pain. The adrenaline must have been completely wearing off thanks to his relief taking over instead, and the pain in his arm was more apparent then ever. Jackson frowned deeply.  
  
"What happened?" He stepped closer to Mark and bent over. His hands hovered about the length of his arm, clearly worried about directly touching it.  
  
"Oh..." Mark stood up and touched his arm gingerly. "When I was running, I slipped on some ice and landed on it."  
  
Guilt flashed across Jackson's face.   
  
"No, no." Mark shook his head frantically, determined for this to be something Jackson didn't blame himself for. "This is just proof of how much I wanted and needed to find you. It was an injury in the name of lo-" His eyes widened and he closed his mouth tight. His heart started beating desperately when the reality of what he was about to say dawned on him. He stared at Jackson and hoped he hadn't caught on.  
  
Jackson tilted his head to one side, his eyes on Mark's arm, but still clearly listening to what he was saying. "In the name of lo? Hm." He thought for a little while and then his eyes lit up. "In the name of loyalty!" His eyebrows creased together shortly after, though. "Or maybe in the name of loaning... This coat is yours after all."  
  
Mark took steady breaths to try to calm down, so Jackson wouldn't notice anything. Even he himself was confused by what he was about to say. He was thankful Jackson didn't seem to grasp that fact, though.  
  
"That coat is basically yours, now." Mark cautiously took a hold of Jackson's hand. He must have felt his hesitance, because he squeezed it tight.  
  
"And to think I thought you'd already given me enough." Jackson smiled up at the sky, but his teeth quickly started chattering, finally fully protesting against the cold.  
  
Mark looked at him anxiously. "I guess a coat is no good if it's practically soaked through and it's freezing outside.  
  
"I guess it is kinda cold out after all." Jackson jumped on the spot a couple of times in a fruitless attempt to warm himself up.  
  
"I'll take you home, okay?" Mark began to walk off, but was stopped by Jackson. He had a solid grip on his hand, but hadn't moved, and instead was staring at Mark with an expression he couldn't quite place.  
  
"Take me home?" His voice was quiet, but flat.  
  
"Yeah..." Mark walked back towards him and placed his forehead gently against Jackson's. "You know, back to our place?"   
  
Jackson immediately appeared to relax. He leaned in to Mark so that their noses were touching. "Alright, alright..."   
  
"You should probably get in the bath when we get back. I know it's late but you need to warm up." Undeterred, Mark turned and began walking again, this time with Jackson more than willingly following after him.  
  
Mark released a long, deep breath, smiling only to himself as he watched his breath hit the cold air and turn to wisps of white. He could finally breathe again.  
  
\--  
  
A week had passed since the incident.   
  
Mark didn't ask why he ran off like that. He wanted to, but keeping his promise was more important. All he had to focus on was finding out how to protect Jackson in his own way.  
  
Jackson stood in front of him as he sipped on his drink and surveyed the area. The lights were dim and music was playing from speakers at either side of a stage near the back of the venue. People were talking in groups excitedly as they waited for the band to arrive. JB suggested it in the group chat as a last minute thing the group could do together on the weekend. It was a rather unknown, underground kind of gig. The only reason JB knew about it was because he had friends in the music scene. He was looking to become a producer in the future. JB hadn't told the group anything about the band, in hope that the mystery would entice them more.  
  
As if on cue, JB appeared behind Mark.  
  
"They're called Day6. I'm good friends with their leader, Sungjin." JB glanced at the stage as he bit on the end of the straw in his drink absentmindedly.  
  
"How do you know someone in a band?" Jackson tipped his head to one side, the curiosity clear on his face.  
  
"Oh, they're in highschool. They just go to a different one to us." He replied coolly.  
  
"They're in highschool and they're already having super secret gigs?" Jackson's eyebrows raised in surprise.  
  
"They'll probably get officially signed once they get out of school." JB noticed his drink was empty and waved his hand as he turned to go back to the bar.  
  
"I guess that means no one from our school will be here, probably." Mark said, relieved to spend time around the group without interruptions.  
  
"But who will take pictures of you for me to save later?" Jackson pouted and looked down into his half empty drink.  
  
"I'll be your camera man if you want, Jack." Jinyoung appeared at his side and put an arm around his shoulder casually.  
  
"Really?" Jackson's eyes glinted with enthusiasm as he stared down Jinyoung in an attempt to see if he was being truthful.  
  
Jinyoung nodded in his usual over exaggerated way whenever he was humouring him.  
  
"Nyoung, don't." Mark frowned and looked away from the two.  
  
"Don't what?" Jinyoung purposefully pulled Jackson closer to him. "The pictures, or...?"  
  
One of Mark's eyes twitched in slight annoyance as he watched them in his peripheral vision.  
  
JB came back into view and crept around to the back of Jinyoung so he could surprise him. He carefully hugged him from behind with his new drink in a hand, and placed his chin on his shoulder. Jinyoung took his arm away from Jackson and turned his head in JB's direction. He smiled, but it fell as soon as he saw what was on his head. It was a black bucket hat that covered all his hair and cast a shadow over half his face. Jinyoung stepped away from him for a moment to look at his t-shirt and quickly rolled his eyes.  
  
"Really. That hat and the Snoop Dogg shirt again?" He sounded critical but had a playful look on his face.  
  
"Really. Those fake glasses again?" JB snapped back somewhat lazily, but he smiled wide and brought him back against his chest affectionately.  
  
It was rare that JB was this affectionate with anyone, so it was proof he was in a much better mood than usual. Mark reached out with his free hand and tugged on Jackson's jacket to bring him closer. But before Jackson could move too close, Mark felt his feet leave the floor. A weird noise came from behind him that could only belong to one person.  
  
"Put me down!" Mark's eyes were wide in surprise. Mostly at the fact someone with such a small frame could lift him this high.  
  
BamBam laughed and put him down, but put his arm around Mark instead.  
  
"Yo guys. Yugyeom is getting some drinks." He looked around at the group. "Youngjae isn't here yet?"  
  
"Actually, I saw him earlier. He was talking to people I didn't recognize, but he saw me so he'll probably join us soon." JB tapped his cheek against Jinyoung's before moving away from him. "I'm gonna go backstage and talk to Sungjin."  
  
"I'll go say hi to Wonpil then." Jinyoung took JB's hand and waved as he started walking away alongside him. "We'll be back before they start. Save us a space in the crowd."  
  
The three who remained behind waved back, but Jackson kept glancing at Mark and BamBam, until it seemed like too much. He pulled on Mark's arm to bring him towards him and didn't stop until he was behind him, as if he was his bodyguard.  
  
"Don't you think you're all over Mark a little too much?" Jackson looked indignant as he sized BamBam up.  
  
BamBam let out a sigh. "This again? You're such a jealous person, Jack."   
  
"No MarkBam." He made a cross with his arms.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, only YugBam." BamBam waved him off, but looked amused none-the-less.  
  
The whole week Jackson had been weirdly over-protective of Mark, pulling him away from anyone who he deemed to be getting too close to him. This wasn't anything new but it still mildly surprised Mark each time it happened. He squeezed Jackson's arm in an attempt to reassure him of whatever was worrying him.  
  
"Hey guys." Youngjae appeared as if from thin air while looking down at his phone.   
  
"What were you up to that you didn't come find us first thing?" Jackson asked, moving to Mark's side so he could lean on him.  
  
"By chance, I got talking to some girls." Youngjae paused to stick his tongue out and shush BamBam who had let out a whistle at this new information. "Long story short, I might be adopting a puppy from one of them."  
  
"Why did I expect anything else?" BamBam shrugged in the direction of Jackson and Mark as he faked being disappointed.  
  
"As if I have time for a girlfriend." Youngjae looked up from his phone and put it away. "When is this gig starting anyway?"  
  
"Soon, I think?" Mark threw his plastic cup in a nearby trashcan as he answered. He pulled a face as he thought back on Youngjae's previous statement, so he glanced back at him. "You don't have time for a girlfriend, but you have time for a puppy?"  
  
Youngjae looked to consider his words, but decided to shrug it off. "I always have time for a puppy."  
  
Mark shook his head in disbelief. "Whatever you say. I'm available to help."  
  
"You have your own puppy to look after." BamBam nodded in Jackson's direction and then fled to Yugyeom who was walking over. He hid behind him as he approached the group.  
  
Jackson just laughed at the sight and smiled at Mark, nudging him a little as he placed his cheek on his shoulder. In return, Mark rested his own cheek on top of his head fondly, with a big smile on his face. His hair felt fluffy and soft on his skin.  
  
They'd been mostly inseparable. They only problem was that Jackson had taken to sleeping on the sofa instead of in the same bed as Mark. He didn't really cite a reason apart from not wanting to be too much of a bother. Mark didn't exactly enjoy the fact that he'd rather sleep in the living room than with him, but he had to admit that the view of Jackson half naked on the sofa that greeted him each morning was hard to beat. At least that's what he tried to make himself believe. He knew deep down that he'd rather be waking up **next** to that instead.  
  
JB and Jinyoung struggled a little to get back through the crowd that was beginning to grow and gave the group a thumbs up.  
  
"They're about to go on so we should get into the pit." JB nodded in the direction of the stage.  
  
"My first gig!" Jackson rubbed his hands together excitedly, then used one to grab Mark's hand. "Let's get a good spot all together."  
  
He began following after Jinyoung and JB while tugging Mark along. As they walked, he rubbed his thumb against the back of his hand. It was comforting and gave Mark a sense of security. He never felt more at ease then when Jackson was holding his hand.  
  
"Here should be fine right?" Yugyeom looked around at the crowd. They'd managed to squeeze themselves near the front.  
  
The quiet filler music from the speakers suddenly died down completely, and the already dim lights got dimmer. Mark looked at Jackson and saw the anticipation on his face. He really did look like a little like a puppy. He stifled a laugh and gripped his hand a little harder.  
  
Cheers erupted from the crowd as the band walked on stage towards their instruments. One of them took center stage and adjusted his mic before speaking into it.  
  
"Hey everyone, we're Day6. I'm Sungjin. That's Jae, Bri- I mean, Young K, Wonpil and then Dowoon back there on drums." He turned and pointed to all his members as he called their names. "Our first song of the night will be Out of My Mind."  
  
They started playing their guitars in unison and then the drums kicked in. Some people in the crowd screamed in joy and started to jump about at the more animated parts of the song. While Mark was enjoying himself and the music, he couldn't quite shake the feeling that it was getting harder to breathe. He didn't enjoy crowds, but now everyone was packed together in a relatively small space and it made him feel claustrophobic. Everyone had become so squished together that their shoulders were touching.   
  
Before he knew it, the hand that once held Jackson's was now empty. He grasped at the air, a little confused. His head darted around the crowd to try to find him, but he couldn't. Now his chest was really constricting. It was so early in the gig, but he had to leave for a few minutes. Maybe once he'd caught his breath again, he could watch from the back, or the bar. Anywhere less populated.  
  
His eyes searched the crowd for someone he knew, which he thought he wouldn't end up having to do since they all found a spot together, but the crowd had quickly mixed together and separated them. He finally spotted someone and tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"I'm going to get some air." Mark leaned over and whispered in Jinyoung's ear. He gave a nod to confirm he'd heard.  
  
Mark bobbed and weaved through the river of people and once he was finally free from the pit, he tried to take a deep breath. It didn't quite work though and he felt himself beginning to panic, which made his current problem even worse. He looked for the exit, and instead found a sign signaling to the roof. It was closer than the actual exit of the building, and there were more people over that way, so Mark turned and made his way to the stairs. The extra effort it took to climb them didn't seem worth it at first, but the further he got from the noise the better he felt. Once he reached the door, he flung it open, only to find it was pouring down with rain. But he needed the fresh air, so he walked out into it and bent forward, resting his hands on his knees as he gasped for air. The door slammed shut behind him, but he paid it no mind. The cold water and air felt good on his skin. He didn't realize just how warm it was in the venue with all those people packed in there. Rain quickly soaked his hair and fell off a few strands onto his face.   
  
Mark breathed in deeply a couple of times. In through his nose, out through his mouth. It was almost as if the rain was cleansing him of his anxiety. Though, it wouldn't completely wash away. Jackson had once again disappeared. Now he could breathe again, he could at least think semi-rationally. It wasn't like he ran off like last time, he probably just got moved by the crowd like everyone else. He did seem like he was enjoying himself, after all. Still, he needed to confirm it for himself, because a part of him would always be worried. Not to mention he was becoming increasingly wet and cold, thanks to the weather.  
  
He turned and walked back towards the door and tried to open it. But it wouldn't budge. He tried to open it a little harder but it still wouldn't move. His hand slipped from the handle in disbelief.  
  
"This is a joke, right?" He muttered to himself, which could barely be heard above the rain.  
  
Mark felt around in his pockets for his phone, but bit back a curse as it dawned on him that he left it in his coat pocket when he checked it in as soon as they got to the venue. This was probably the worst time to be on the roof. Even if he banged loudly on the door, the music inside would drown it out. Regardless, he had to try, so he balled up his hands into fists and hit the door with determination.  His banging had to eventually attract the attention of someone, right?  
  
More than a few minutes passed and his efforts had become less enthusiastic. He was now completely soaked through and shivering. Clearly, no one had heard him, and he wasn't sure how long the band would keep playing. Even from the roof, he could just about hear them, the bass especially was loud. He uselessly hugged himself as he walked away from the door to the edge of the roof. The roof on the building opposite him wasn't too far away, but there was a very real chance he wouldn't make the jump, considering it was a bit higher up than the roof he was currently on. The fall down wouldn't be pretty. The door was probably locked anyway, so he'd just be in the same predicament but on another building.  
  
Mark made his way back to the door and tried in vain to get the it to open again. It didn't seem locked, it was more like it suddenly jammed. He trailed his hands down the door as he slowly fell to his knees, and fought back the urge to give in the hopelessness. He needed to figure out a way to get off this roof that was realistic, but there was nothing. No way to climb down safely and the door just wasn't budging no matter how many times he tried. His hands hurt from where they hit the solid door so many times and he was completely drenched. Not to mention that if the group realized he was missing for this long, they'd forgo the concert to search for him. That thought alone made him feel guilty. The desperation of his position struck him. Why couldn't he be better around crowds?   
  
"Jackson..." He whispered, pressing his forehead against the door and squeezing his eyes shut.  
  
It began as a quiet wish. But he just wanted to see his face again. So he threw his head back and screamed his name as loud as he could. His voice echoed against the rain, and he fought back the urge to sob.   
  
This was the last thing he expected to happen, even with his clothes clinging to his body and his temperature dropping by the minute, it felt unreal. He didn't want anyone to find him like this. As he was about to sink to the floor completely, he heard something muffled coming from the other side of the door. Heavy footsteps? Mark's face perked up and he briefly resumed his banging.  
  
"Mark?!" A familiar, panicked voice came from behind the door.  
  
"Gaga...?" Mark's voice was weak, but he banged another couple of times.  
  
The handle rattled frantically and he heard him swear in a hushed voice.   
  
"Get back, Mark. I'll try to break it down."  
  
Mark crawled backwards away from the door and didn't have to wait long until there was a loud thud. It happened over and over, until Mark couldn't take it anymore.  
  
"Stop it, Jackson!" He moved back over to the door and hit it. "You're going to hurt yourself!"  
  
"Who cares?!" Jackson cursed again and Mark thought he heard him kick something. "Alright, I'll be there soon, Mark. Please hang on."  
  
Mark looked confused at his comment. "What do you mean?"  
  
When no reply came, he moved to lean his back against the wall and hug his knees for comfort. He shakily ran his fingers through his hair so it was out of his face. Even just hearing Jackson's voice, he felt a little better. It didn't feel like the weight of everything was crushing him so much anymore. He waited for a few minutes until the door to the roof opposite him burst open. It made him jump, but his eyes widened when he saw who opened it.  
  
"Mark! Oh my god." Jackson ran to the edge of the roof and looked the very definition of terrified. "They're getting something to open the door."  
  
Mark narrowed his eyes and tried to focus on Jackson. He looked to be deep in thought, yet extremely distressed as his eyes darted about the area.  
  
"Okay, I'm going to come to you." Jackson turned away and walked back a few paces.  
  
"You're what?" Mark's eyes widened and he weakly managed to get himself up off the floor. He walked forward a few steps before giving in to the numbness in his legs. He fell back to the ground. "Don't you dare!"   
  
Jackson seemed conflicted, he kept glancing to the gap between the buildings and Mark.  
  
"I mean it! Don't you dare!" Mark shouted at the top of his lungs. "Don't you dare do it!"  
  
The scene wasn't the same, but he immediately thought of when Jackson was on the rooftop of the school. It was raining then, too. If he jumped and fell... Mark didn't want to think about it. He couldn't.  
  
"Don't do it!" Mark just kept screaming the words over and over, hoping that if he said them enough, they'd convince Jackson.   
  
They didn't.  
  
It felt like his heart stopped once he saw Jackson's feet leave the ground, so he closed his eyes as quickly as he could to hide from it. He didn't want to open them again and not see him. But he didn't have to. Shortly after, he felt arms around him.  
  
"You're freezing." Jackson propped Mark up on his knees and leant over him, trying to shield his body from the rain with his own.  
  
"You..." Mark was crying and his voice was shaky, but thankfully he could blame the weather on both. "I told you not to do it. What would I do if you fell?"  
  
Mark flimsily gripped onto Jackson's shirt and partially hid his face with it. The rain couldn't hide the fact it now actually looked like he was sobbing.  
  
"What would I do if you had to stay here alone for another second?" Jackson replied calmly, even though the hands holding him were trembling.  
  
"That doesn't matter!" Mark feebly hit Jackson on the stomach in defiance. "I told you not to, you could have fallen!"  
  
"I've never heard you be this loud before." Jackson laughed quietly and stroked his hair in a soothing manner.  
  
Mark nuzzled into his hand as it made it's way to his cheek. Small beads of rain were falling onto his face from where they were dripping off of Jackson.  
  
"I wanted..." Mark let out a sob he couldn't suppress. "I wanted to see your face again."  
  
Jackson looked like he was fighting back tears himself after hearing Mark's quiet confession. He stared into his deep brown eyes for what seemed like an eternity, before moving in to press their lips together. Mark gripped his shirt tighter and his eyes widened in shock, but they quickly closed as he returned the kiss. They kissed the cold droplets from each others lips and grasped at each other desperately. Mark took shaky, shallow breaths in between kisses and Jackson held him against him just that little bit tighter. When their lips connected, it felt like the rain ceased to make noise, and the only thing that mattered was the moment happening between them. As if the world just fell away.  
  
Jackson forced himself to pull his head away from Mark's, only to brush his thumb along his bottom lip, causing more feelings to stir inside him. Mark reached out a wavering hand and managed to cup the back of Jackson's neck with it.  
  
"Don't-" Mark began to say something, but was cut off as the door to the roof suddenly fell down to the floor with a slam.  
  
"Mark!" JB ran out onto the roof, holding an umbrella. He frowned very slightly once he saw Jackson was also there, but didn't stop running until he could hold the umbrella over them both.  
  
Jinyoung wasn't far behind him and getting a little wet seemed to be the least of his worries. He had an uncharacteristically troubled expression on his face.  
  
"Jackson?!" Jinyoung knelt down next to them. "How did you get..." His eyes trailed off to the other roof. His shoulders sagged and he put a hand on his face, as if he couldn't quite believe it.  
  
"You jumped?" It looked like JB came to the same conclusion as Jinyoung and was visibly angry. "You could have died!"  
  
Jinyoung reached out his hand to lightly grip JB's while shaking his head. "That's not important right now. Mark is really pale."  
  
BamBam suddenly appeared in the doorway. "The ambulance is on it's way!"  
  
"Ambulance?" Mark tried to get up while shaking his head as vigorously as he could. "No, no I don't need an ambulance, I'll be fine once I warm up."  
  
His head was swimming. This all still seemed unreal. Like it was a dream he was having. His friends were worried and out in the rain because of him. He didn't want this part to be real.  
  
Before Mark could truly start to spiral, Jackson picked him up with little effort. Mark had no choice but to lean into his body and put his arms around his neck for support, as they all exited the roof.  
  
\--  
  
On their way inside from the roof and down the stairs, BamBam regaled Mark with the tale of how the entire group scoured the building for tools to get the door down once they heard from a sprinting Jackson that, that's where he was.  
  
Mark was now sat outside, out the back of an ambulance.  
  
"Are you sure you're alright?"  
  
Mark had changed into borrowed, dry clothes and had a warm towel wrapped around his shoulders. He was still a little shaky, so he had trouble keeping the cup of hot chocolate steady in his hands. At least it was no longer raining. Only the cold was left behind.  
  
"Yeah..." Mark muttered quietly, staring at the ripples in his drink.  
  
The paramedic sighed. "Well, we should at least make sure someone is going to look after you at home. You live with your parents, right?"  
  
Mark froze up at his question. There wasn't, so what did that mean? Would he be taken to hospital after all? He really didn't want to spend a whole night there. The only thing he wanted right now was to sink into his sofa at home.  
  
"He lives with me and our parents." Jackson appeared next to him and put a strong hand on his shoulder. "He's my brother."  
  
Mark frowned deeply and opened his mouth to comment, but Jackson shot him a look that told him in no small terms to not say anything. So he didn't.  
  
"Alright. We'll give you both a ride. Hop in the back." The paramedic tapped the vehicle before walking around to the drivers seat.  
  
Mark gave Jackson a confused look, but moved into the back of the ambulance alongside him. Once they were sat next to each other, it felt awkward. The kiss instantly flashed in Mark's mind and he felt his cheeks heating up - a good sign under the circumstances. He thought back to just before they were saved, when his hand was around the back of Jackson's neck and the urgency he felt for him to kiss him again. It made things difficult. It changed things. That one thing changed the tone of their relationship, and now everything was uncertain. It was probably something that only happened in the heat of the moment, but it felt so right.  
  
Mark peeked out the corner of his eye to take a look at Jackson's face, and realized maybe this wasn't the time to be thinking about that kind of stuff. His expression was pensive, and it gave Mark a bad feeling. It wasn't his usual blank stare, which was somewhat reassuring, but that didn't mean Mark could just let it be.  
  
"Gaga, you didn't have to do that, you know?" Mark turned his body to face him a little more and peered into his eyes, hoping to spark something other than what he was currently brooding over.  
  
"What did I do now?" Jackson hid his face with his hands for a moment, before taking them away to show a small smile on his lips. "We'll sort it out when we get there."  
  
Mark returned his smile with a tired one of his own. They spent the rest of the trip mostly in silence, with Jackson only breaking it to give directions to the driver every so often. It wasn't completely uncomfortable. They were both pretty exhausted for different reasons and had a lot to think about.  
  
Before he knew it, the ride was over and they were outside of Jackson's house. Mark felt hesitant to get out of the ambulance to see it again. The fact that it was separated from other houses was creepy in itself, but it was mostly how Jackson looked at it and felt like a much smaller person when faced with it that bothered Mark the most.  
  
"Don't hesitate to pop in if you start feeling bad, okay?" The paramedic seemed genuinely worried about Mark.  
  
"Yeah, thanks..." Mark felt a little stiff at having someone he hardly knew make such a fuss over him.  
  
"Thank you for everything, really." Jackson shook the paramedic's hand and bowed a little to him.   
  
"It's just our job." The paramedic laughed and seemed a little bashful at Jackson's sincerity.  
  
They both waved goodbye as the ambulance drove off into the night, the lights getting smaller and smaller until they were engulfed completely by the darkness.  
  
Mark looked tense as he glanced back at the house. He wanted to say they didn't have to come here. He wanted to say he could have figured something else out without having to alert his parents and make them worry. But he didn't know how to properly word it, or even if he should say anything at all. He bit his bottom lip and stared at the ground.  
  
"They..." Jackson looked at the house alongside Mark. "They know we're here. I should probably go inside just to tell them what happened."  
  
Mark's head snapped up quickly to look at Jackson, panic rushing through his body. He had a bad feeling. Jackson seemed so... resigned. To what, he wasn't sure, but it couldn't be anything good. Mark really disliked this house. He could feel the bad energy surrounding it. Jackson still didn't belong anywhere near here.  
  
"Do you..." Mark reached out and grabbed Jackson's shoulder, stopping him from moving. "Do you really have to? I know they're your host parents, but..." He gritted his teeth in frustration. It was pointless. He didn't know the right words to stop him.  
  
"Nothing can be worse than what could have potentially happened today." Jackson muttered softly. "After facing that, all the terrified feelings are just drained from me."  
  
"Terrified feelings?" Mark gripped his shoulder tighter and worry lingered on his features. "Gaga, let's just leave."  
  
"I'm talking gibberish." Jackson brushed his hand off and laughed. But it was an empty laugh that didn't reach his eyes. "I need to pick up some stuff I couldn't get last time, anyway. I'll be out really quick. Just... Stay here."  
  
"Can't I come with you?" Mark took a step forward, but was rejected just like before, by Jackson holding up a hand to stop him.  
  
"Please, Mark." Jackson turned his face away from him and then made the short walk to the door of the house.   
  
"I... Come back really soon, okay?" Mark turned away from him and crouched down on the wet ground. His inadequacy threatened to burst out from within him if he continued to look at Jackson any longer. He rubbed his hands together and then blew on them in an attempt to warm them.   
  
He wanted to be at home with Jackson. He no longer cared if it would be awkward, or if they would have to have a difficult conversation about what happened earlier. He would take that any day, over this. When was he going to be able to help Jackson in more than just what felt like a passive way? Letting him stay with him sometimes felt like it was helping Mark more than Jackson. He didn't realize how lonely living alone was until Jackson's presence made him see otherwise. The house didn't feel right without him anymore.  
  
Mark jumped and felt a shiver run down his spine when he suddenly heard a crash from inside the house. It felt horribly similar to the last time. He turned quickly and stood up, grabbing onto the fence with such ferocity that the paint cracked off. Was he just going to stand there being indecisive?   
  
He steeled his resolve. Even if it turned out to be nothing and he made a fool of himself, it didn't matter. All that mattered was that if Jackson needed him, even without asking, he would be there. Right by his side, through anything.  
  
He ran to the door, and burst through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [personal notes]  
> Long story short:  
> Depression is great, huh?  
> That's pretty much the reason I haven't posted in so long.  
> I'm so sorry to the people who thought I was abandoning this. I will never give up on this story. Pinky promise.  
> I'm also sorry if this chapter isn't great. It's a lot longer than previous chapters though! I know quantity ≠ quality. but shh.
> 
> [story notes]  
> *FLINGS CONFETTI OVER MARKSON*  
> CONGRATULATIONS MY BABIES. YOU KISSED.
> 
> Okay, so confession time! I got the trapped on the rooftop scene from a Taiwanese show called "Bromance." I watched it and that's what started off the whole me wanting to write a story about Markson. I don't know why but I just very suddenly thought how I wanted to see them in that position. I didn't leave Mark out in the rain as long as the person in the show was, because I figure there's no way Jackson would go that long without needing to see Mark's face.
> 
> I was curious so I looked it up and apparently that Snoop Dogg shirt JB wears a lot costs $960. REALLY. No wonder he wears it so much. I also had to look up the name of the hat he wear so much. I thought it was just a sunhat but apparently it's a bucket hat. The more you know.
> 
> Also stan Day6 alongside GOT7. The talent is real.  
> *whispers JYP*
> 
> [sneakily adds an edit here]  
> Be ready for some ~revelations~ of all kinds next chapter!


	6. Even Though It Hurts

"Jackson?!"  
  
Mark felt his body sag a little as he walked into the hallway. He knew his condition wasn't serious, but it felt like every move he made caused his body to ache. His muscles were especially worn out.  
  
An older looking lady with short hair came out from a room further into the hallway, and as she saw Mark a thin smile appeared on her lips. But something about it felt wrong. His stomach churned unpleasantly at the sight.  
  
"You must be one of our boys friends, right? We've seen you here before, I think." She walked towards him and opened a door closer to them.  
  
Mark looked over her shoulder to the room she exited. He couldn't see inside of it, but he had a feeling that was where Jackson was. As he tried to move around the side of her, she blocked him with her arm and extended her other to point to the room she just opened.   
  
"Come in for a little while, you look pale." Her eyes bore into him. "Jackson will be out soon, he's just busy. Ah, please call me Ivy."  
  
Mark had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop him from barging straight through her. He couldn't hear anything from that side of the house, so he decided to go along with her for now. Even though the whole vibe was completely off, it was probably better if he waited for a more opportune moment to find Jackson. With her blocking him, it didn't seem feasible unless he wanted to potentially hurt her. Of that, he wasn't entirely sure yet.  
  
He was led into a barely lit living room. Everything was cluttered, like the owners hoarded any and all items they came across. Mark moved a stack of papers and board games from the sofa to make room for him to sit, though he didn't anticipate being there for very long. The room creeped him out. He was also a little afraid that if he stayed there too long, he'd just become another object they collected.  
  
"We saw an ambulance from the window. Are you alright?" She sat on a chair opposite him.  
  
"Yeah, Jackson really saved me today." Mark nodded, but kept glancing to the door.   
  
He was agitated. That crash couldn't have just been a coincidence. Something similar happened when they were here last. He knew his body was tired, but as he became more and more uneasy, it was becoming more alert to his surroundings.  
  
"Is that so?" She continued to smile, but it was plain to see she was forcing herself to keep it plastered on her mouth. It didn't reach her eyes, or any of her other features for that matter. Everything about it was utterly fake.  
  
"Yeah..." Mark frowned ever so slightly as he watched her. "Can I go see him? I really don't want to be a bother. I just want to help him pack."  
  
"Oh, there's no need for that." She got up and walked over to a mini refrigerator that looked weirdly out of place, amongst all the random stuff scattered around. "Would you like a drink?"  
  
"No, thank you. I really think I should just go help Jackson." He felt rude as soon as the words left his mouth, but he didn't like being here, especially without Jackson.  
  
The lady walked back over and slammed a can of iced tea down on the coffee table in front of him. It startled him and he immediately felt like she was trying to intimidate him, though it only provoked his irritation towards the situation more.  
  
"I think he'll choose to stay here, I'm afraid." She still had same smile on her lips, but something about her felt dangerous. "We miss having him around."  
  
"There's no way that's-" He cut himself off and looked away from her face. "I'd like to at least talk to him before I leave, if that's the case."  
  
"I feel so sorry you have to walk back to your house by yourself." She acted like she didn't hear him as she sat back down. "Where is it that you live, by the way?"  
  
Mark started to shake with the anger he'd been trying to repress ever since he heard the crash. There was no longer a doubt in his mind about this household. There was something very wrong here. Something that should never have happened to begin with. He stood up and took a deep breath, before looking Ivy right in the eyes.  
  
"You can't stop me from going to him." His voice was deep and serious.  
  
"What?" Her words and smile both faded. But her realization came too late.  
  
Mark bolted to the door and hit the wall of the hallway in his rush to get out of the room. When he was sat down he forgot how weak he still was, but he didn't let it deter him for too long, as he could vaguely hear Ivy calling after him.   
  
"Jackson!" Mark yelled as he took off down the hallway to the room he was most suspicious of.   
  
He came to a halt as soon as he got to the doorway, as he very nearly bumped into someone. Dread crept over him like an icy chill.  
  
Jackson was stood there with eyes like dark voids of nothing. Even just staring into them, Mark began to feel empty inside. He grabbed a hold of Jackson's shoulders and shook him gently.  
  
"Gaga, we should leave." His eyes fluttered about his vacant expression, hoping to change something about it with his words.  
  
Jackson appeared to hear him and managed to focus on him. His demeanor quickly became desperate.  
  
"Mark, leave." He whispered.  
  
"What? No!" Mark tried to pull Jackson away with him, but he didn't, or couldn't, budge.  
  
"What do you think you're doing with my son?" An older man appeared from behind Jackson.  
  
Mark recognized him from when they were last here. He seemed harmless back then, almost nice even, but he had a different vibe now. His eyes were ablaze and he suddenly shoved Jackson out the way into the wall beside them. Mark watched him grimace, hold his stomach and fall to the ground.  
  
"What the fuck did you do?!" Mark was shocked and so full of rage at what just happened, that he had trouble holding back.  
  
He went to move to Jackson's side, but the man stopped him by pushing him back roughly.  
  
"Are you trying to take my son away from me!?" He spat as he yelled.   
  
Mark felt a ripple of fear run through him. The man ahead of him didn't exactly look imposing. He was tall, but very skinny. Yet there was something terrifying about his presence. The way he was glaring at Mark made him seem ten times taller and there was a mad look in his eyes.  
  
"I just need to get to Jackson!" Mark stood back up straight and clenched his trembling fists.  
  
"Who is Jackson!?" The man roared and leapt at Mark.  
  
He hit the wall and yelped quietly in pain, but with anger dominating his brain, he shoved the man off of him and ran into the room. The door was instantly bashed into from the other side once he closed it and locked it behind him.  
  
"Gaga, are you okay?" Mark knelt down next to him.  
  
"Why are you still here?!" Jackson screamed back. It didn't seem like he was upset that Mark wanted to help, just that he put himself in danger for his sake.  
  
He made an attempt to get up, but winced and his hand went back to his stomach. Mark held in a breath and tried to center himself, but he knew he had to see the inevitable. His hands gripped the bottom of Jackson's shirt and he pulled it up half-way. His head instantly dropped. He couldn't look at it for a moment longer. There was a fresh mark on his stomach that was already beginning to bruise.  
  
The door to the room started rattling loudly and he could hear both parents yelling for them to open it. Mark bit his bottom lip in frustration and noticed his whole body was shaking uncontrollably.  
  
"Mark, you need to leave." Jackson carefully managed to pull his body up and away from Mark, like the further he was away from him, the safer he would be. He walked to the back of the room and sat down on a small bed.  
  
"How?!" Mark followed after him and held his hands up, indicating to the room. "There are BARS on the window." He purposefully neglected to mention how messed up that fact was.  
  
Jackson rubbed his stomach anxiously and sighed deeply, but as he opened his mouth to reply, Mark spoke first.  
  
"No, I'm not leaving anyway. The only way I leave is if you come with me." Though his voice was level, his face was ashen and his heart thudded fearfully each time someone yelled or banged from behind the door.  
  
"You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be here." Jackson repeated the words over and over as he shook his head. He pushed himself further into the bed and away from Mark, once again acting like his mere existence put him in danger.  
  
"Jack..." Mark got onto the bed and crawled over to him. He cupped Jackson's face with his hands as he stared into his unfocused eyes. "I'm here with you. I'm never leaving you."  
  
Mark brought his face closer to Jackson's and pressed their lips together. They stayed like that for a few seconds, until Mark felt something wet fall onto his cheeks. He separated from him only to see tears falling down his face with no sign of stopping. His chin was trembling as he stared at Mark with what felt like a small glint of hope in his eyes.  
  
"Gaga, you'll be alright." He ran both his thumbs across Jackson's cheeks as he wiped away his tears as best he could, even though they would just be replaced soon after.  
  
Mark leant back a little and went into his pocket. He brought out his phone, which made Jackson's eyes go wide.  
  
"What are you doing?" He muttered. His eyes were now focused solely on the phone with a look of clear unease on his face.  
  
"Calling the police. He hit you." Mark started typing in the numbers until Jackson made a move to grab the phone from him, but inhaled sharply as the pain from his stomach prevented him from moving that fast.  
  
"Don't, Mark. Please..." He used an arm to cover his eyes as he faced away from him in shame. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I got you into this, this was never supposed to happen."  
  
Mark felt himself crumbling from the inside at the sight of him. It was the image of someone utterly helpless, yet also horribly guilty. He swiftly pocketed his phone and put his arms around him. He made sure not to lean into him, but he put his chin on top of his head, so that Jackson could sob freely into his chest without having to worry that Mark was watching him.  
  
As he embraced Jackson, his eyes glanced around the room. It was small, there were bars on the window, and the bed they were on felt like it could break at any moment. It squeaked with every movement and the mattress felt bumpy and uncomfortable. No wonder Jackson was fine sleeping on the sofa, considering this was his reality until recently. The room was a lot more tidy compared to the only other room Mark had seen, but he had to wonder if that was because of the lack of furniture. Apart from the bed, there was just one small bedside table and what he assumed to be a wardrobe was simple a piece of wood attached to the wall, with mostly empty hangers on it. There were a few shirts left from when he packed before.  
  
What intrigued Mark the most though, was that on the largely clean floor was a bunch of pictures that were torn up. He gently pushed Jackson away and made sure he was comfortable before getting off the bed to look at them. They were pictures of Jackson's mum, dad and what could only be Jackson when he was a child. The playful grin gave him away.  
  
Jackson wiped his eyes and looked over to Mark. He croaked out, "Oh god..." Then looked away once more. The sight of the torn pictures were apparently too much for him.  
  
Mark knew how much he cared for his parents. He would regularly walk in on Jackson having a video call with them. It broke his heart to think about what must have happened to these pictures, and in front of Jackson no less. He glared at the still noisy door to the room, but tried to control his anger. Instead, he picked them up and put them carefully into his pockets. He could repair this with time, he had to.  
  
"Jack..." He moved back over to the bed and hugged him carefully once more. "Nothing that's broken or torn apart can't be fixed again. I can make sure of that."  
  
Jackson let out a loud sob he'd clearly been holding back and leant into Mark. It made him want to put a protective bubble around him so he would never come to harm ever again.  
  
He shivered. His head turned partially to get a look at the door, which had been suspiciously quiet since he started holding Jackson again. Considering the whole time they'd been in the room, there had been constant noise from it, this was possibly a good sign. Did that mean they could leave? He would do anything to get Jackson out of this hellhole. Now it was quiet, it seemed like their best chance.  
  
"Gaga, I think they've gone, we might be able to cree-"   
  
A blood-curdling scream stopped Mark mid sentence. His eyes widened in horror as a huge thud came from the door. It happened over and over. Mark held Jackson tighter. He was honestly terrified, but he had promised himself to protect Jackson no matter what.   
  
The wooden door cracked at one of the thuds, and then cracked some more. The man was back and was breaking the door down with what looked like a heavy, wooden bat. Ivy was screaming at him to stop, but it was like he couldn't hear her.  
  
"Get away from my son!" He shrieked.  
  
Jackson was frantically gripping onto Mark's shirt as he trembled beneath him. Mark hovered over him defensively.  
  
"Mark, you're..." Jackson paused to take a deep, unstable breath. "You have to get out, when he comes in, run around him. I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt."  
  
"He has a bat." Mark let out a brief, nervous laugh. "I think with a good swing he'd catch me on the way out."  
  
"Fine, then I'll get up and shield you. This isn't your fight." Jackson moved partially away from him, but Mark grabbed onto his arm.  
  
"You've been fighting alone too long. Let someone protect you. Let me protect you." Mark felt a burning desire inside him to keep Jackson safe.  
  
Splintered wood fell into the room. Mark turned his head just in time to watch in dismay as the man reached in through the newly made hole in the door to unlock it. It flew open with such force, that the handle made a dent in the wall from where it smashed against it. Mark pushed Jackson backwards on the bed until he was completely at the wall. He ignored his tearful protests and instead turned around and spread his arms wide to protect him. It wasn't even remotely a difficult decision at this point.  
  
His heart was thumping so hard and fast it hurt, and his body was quivering uncontrollably, but his eyes were aflame with purpose.  
  
"No one will take my son from me again!" The man looked manic as he walked towards Mark with the bat high over his head.  
  
Jackson was shouting hopelessly behind Mark, but he just closed his eyes and waited for the bat to hit him. When it did, it was on his shoulder and as much as he wanted to take it silently, he let out a hiss of pain and buckled over slightly. Jackson was clambering to get up as he yelled, but Mark quickly pushed him back down, only to turn to the man once more. The next hit only scraped his forehead, but it was enough to start bleeding. It had also dazed him a little, so when Jackson got up the second time, he managed to get Mark out of the way of the next hit. The bat swung through the air, and then just slowly fell back to the mans side. He was suddenly eerily silent. Jackson and Mark were both lying on the bed, with Jackson on top from where he'd pulled Mark down.   
  
Mark quickly got up, and though he felt dizzy and his shoulder hurt - in fact, his whole body hurt - he grabbed Jackson's hand and hopped off the bed.   
  
"Gaga, let's go! Quickly!" He tugged on his arm with urgency in his voice. "We really need to leave."  
  
Jackson was just as pale as Mark. He looked hesitant, but managed to get up off the bed and start following after him.  
  
"You're... Not my son..."  
  
They both froze on the spot at the same time. Mark craned his head back so he could get a look at Jackson, who had gone even paler and was staring into space with wide, glassy eyes. For some reason, in that moment, it dawned on Mark just how traumatizing it was for Jackson to be back there.  
  
"Why aren't you my son?!" The man bellowed and swung his bat around in an arch.  
  
Mark hurriedly tugged on Jackson's hand and pulled him away just in time. But the bat quickly came down from above again, so Mark shoved himself into Jackson to get him out of the way. The bat hit Mark on his back and he fell over forwards. He managed to catch himself with his hands before his face could hit the floor. It felt like he burned all over, but he gritted his teeth and picked himself back up. Jackson was staring at Mark in disbelief, it truly looked like he was completely lost. Mark pushed Jackson out of the room and then grabbed his wrist so he could easily drag him out of the house.  
  
As Mark passed the living room, he glanced in, and briefly caught a glimpse of Ivy. She was sat on a chair near a window and she was smoking a cigarette. Her eyes looked subdued and lacking any of the life they had in them earlier. If that obvious fake happiness could be called life.  
  
He quickly opened the door to the house and ran out of it. They didn't stop sprinting away until the mans haunting wails were nothing but an echo in their own minds, and not before they were in the vicinity of other houses. It was about 2am though, so it was relatively quiet and no one was walking about.   
  
Jackson stopped unexpectedly in the middle of the softly lit street. Mark also came to a halt and turned sideways to look at him, a little confused as to why they'd stopped. He was in a fair amount of pain, and just wanted to keep running. Now they had paused, he was worried about hard it was going to be to get going again. But Jackson just leapt towards him and hugged him. Mark held back a pained noise as he grazed his bad shoulder.  
  
"Ah." Jackson seemed to realize his mistake and began pulling away. "I'm sor-"  
  
Mark interrupted him by turning to him fully as he hugged him even harder. It hurt, a lot, but he needed it just as much as Jackson did. With his arms around him, he gripped onto Jackson's coat with force and buried his face in his neck. They were both a little out of breath from when they ran, so when Jackson tilted his head down, Mark could feel his hot breath on the back of his neck. It made Mark feel tingly. His body felt warm, despite it being cold out. He was still in fight or flight mode.  
  
"Jack..." Mark moved his head up from Jackson's neck and stared into his eyes once they met.  
  
His eyes were glistening with sudden desire, and his breath heavy for a whole new reason now. He moved in and gave him a brief kiss, then licked Jackson's lips. They breathed heavily as they placed their foreheads against one another, both their eyes on each others lips as they grasped at each other intensely. Jackson seemed a little indecisive, so Mark leaned in for another kiss. This time, he slipped his tongue in between Jackson's lips and chased his tongue down. Their tongues intertwined, an action that made them both only more desperate for each other. They caressed each others lips and tongues over and over in the middle of the street. It truly was like they were the only ones in the world.  
  
Sadly, they weren't.  
  
"Get a room you two!"   
  
A man had come out of a 24 hour convenience store with trash bags in his hands and saw them.  
  
They were far enough away from him that they couldn't make out anything about him, so they assumed the same for them. They were a state right now, after all. They were running on fumes.  
  
Jackson forced Mark to look back at him by cupping his cheek. He looked tired, but relatively happy and relieved. His eyes trailed to the drying blood from the scrape on his forehead and his expression was instantly regretful.  
  
Mark snuggled his cheek against his palm and placed his hand over Jackson's. He hoped this action alone would encourage him and rid him of his doubts.  
  
"Hey." He smiled softly. "We can discuss whatever when we get home."  
  
"I'm just..." Jackson started to quiver and look unsure again. "I'm just so sorry. You're so hurt. And you're already weak from when you were out in the rain. How you found the strength..."  
  
Mark sighed quietly and turned his head briefly to kiss the inside of Jackson's palm.  
  
"I needed to protect you. I'd rather get hit, than watch you get hit any day."  
  
"But I feel the same way... I felt so helpless watching you get hit." Tears began to well up in Jackson's eyes as he recalled memory.  
  
"I'm okay, Jackson. I just need rest." Mark tried his best to soothe him.  
  
It looked as if Jackson forced himself to perk up as he sniffed deeply and blinked away the tears that threatened to spill out. He took his hand away from Mark and hit his own cheeks with both his hands, like he was waking himself up.  
  
"Okay, get on my back, I'll carry you."  
  
Mark pulled a face and shook his head.  
  
"I don't think so, Gaga." He took a few steps backwards. "You're also hurt."  
  
"I'll be fine, come here!" Jackson bridged the gap between them that Mark had just created.  
  
"Jackson!" Mark laughed and took a few more steps away from him.  
  
"Come on, I'll be gentle." Jackson started grabbing at the air in Mark's direction.  
  
"That sounds..." Mark blushed and averted his eyes. "Let's just... H-Hold hands and go home."  
  
He got embarrassed at the most random times. Only a short while ago was he practically unabashedly panting over Jackson.  
  
Jackson faked getting upset by covering his face. But when he took his hands away, he was grinning.  
  
Mark was thankful he looked to be his usual self again, even if some of it was him forcing it. He held out his hand and Jackson took it.  
  
They were finally going home.  
  
\--  
  
Jackson and Mark sat a few spaces apart from each other on the sofa. Once they got home, they both ended up doing their own thing when it came to sorting themselves out. They took separate, warm showers, and both took some pain killers. Jackson's bruise on his stomach was quite bad, so he was shirtless with an pack of ice over it. Mark was still in pain, but it was mostly just his back and it only hurt when he moved about too much. He somehow knew it'd feel worse when he woke up the next day.  
  
Jackson sat slightly bent over the side of the sofa, a thoughtful look on his face as he stared at his feet. Mark scratched the back of his neck nervously. The atmosphere was completely different from earlier. Their adrenaline had worn off, and both seemed to be reflecting on the things that happened earlier, but neither appeared to want to talk about it. It was difficult for Mark to start up a conversation about anything, really.  
  
Time passed uncomfortably, and he glanced at Jackson. It looked as if he was sat even further away than before, which made Mark a little fidgety. Was he constructing what to say in his mind, and that was why he was so silent? If that was the case, and if that thing was a rejection, he wished Jackson would just come out and say it. Their current situation was bad for his heart. Even worse than what happened before, somehow.  
  
"Hey-"  
  
"Mark-"  
  
They both went to talk at the same time, looked each other in the eyes for a brief second, then turned away simultaneously. Now it was even more awkward.  
  
"Sorry, Mark." Jackson's voice was quiet. "What did you want to say?"  
  
"Oh." Mark cleared his throat and his eyes darted around the room until they landed on the kitchen. "I was just wondering if you wanted anything to eat or drink..."  
  
It was a lie, but once he heard Jackson's voice it was like whatever he wanted to say disappeared into nothingness.  
  
"I'm okay..." His words trailed off and silence settled in again.  
  
Mark shifted in his seat and fiddled with a bit of loose string on his sweatpants.  
  
"Gaga..." Mark felt himself pouting a little. "Why are you so far away?"  
  
"What do you mean?" Jackson sounded a little confused.  
  
"I mean you're just sat... Far away." Mark sighed and gripped at his hair in minor frustration.  
  
He got up to reseat himself next to Jackson. Even now that they were both closer together, their heads turned from each other.  
  
"I guess you want to know the backstory about what happened back there..." As Jackson spoke, he felt far away, despite being right next to him.  
  
"Not if you don't want to talk about it." Mark shifted his body a little more in Jackson's direction and looked at him out the corner of his eye.  
  
"Maybe not right now." Jackson ran his fingers through his drying hair.  
  
Mark gulped as he watched the sight. Jackson looked really attractive with his hair wet and slicked back. His own hair had dried since his shower. He gave a troubled expression as he messed with his bangs, like he was trying to distract himself.  
  
"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?" Jackson was blushing a little as he asked and his eyes stared holes in the ceiling above them.  
  
This in turn made Mark also feel shy. He tried to soothe the beating of his heart as he looked at one of Jackson's hands that was resting on the seat cushion near him.  
  
"Yeah, I guess there is..." Mark trailed his fingers along the soft fabric until they touched Jackson's. He linked his pinky with his, and though he thought he might die of embarrassment, he faced Jackson head on.  
  
"I've always felt you were special to me." Jackson locked eyes with him straight away and looked completely serious.  
  
"Wha-?" His throat closed up and forced him to cut the word short. Mark's face reddened even more. Jackson had managed to completely surprise him by speaking up first.  
  
Jackson had said those words before. He'd called Mark special in the past, but in this setting it felt more vital. Like the meaning behind them hadn't changed, but only now had their true significance become apparent.  
  
"When I turned to see your face on the rooftop that day..." Jackson was recalling what should have been a painful memory, but he had a hint of a smile on his face. "I thought you were the most beautiful person I'd ever met. It stunned me."  
  
Mark wanted to turn away from the sincerity in his eyes and voice, but forced himself to keep staring back at him. No one had ever told him that while looking quite so intense. The girls at school called him handsome and beautiful, but it didn't feel half as good as it felt coming from Jackson's mouth.  
  
"I feel like..." Jackson moved his hand to link all his fingers with Mark's. "I was put here to meet you. If it ever seemed like I wasn't interested, it was because I was trying to quiet the feelings inside of me. I didn't want to seem too obvious and have you get scared off."  
  
"I wouldn't have been..." Mark's quiet voice crept out and he squeezed his hand.  
  
Jackson shook his head. "There was always a chance. I just want you to know that I..." His eyes flickered downwards briefly as he paused. "I care about you a lot."  
  
"Care?" Mark muttered the words out loud before he could properly process them. "I mean..." He felt weirdly disheartened. What he felt for Jackson was so much more than that. "I care about you too."  
  
He couldn't bring himself to tell him the extent of his feelings. Especially if Jackson didn't feel the same. The words he said felt so ambiguous. It wasn't a lie that he cared for Jackson, he definitely did, but he also realized not too long ago that he was in love with him. Once Mark knew how he felt, it was difficult to keep his hands to himself. Normal actions, like tapping his shoulder to get his attention, felt like too much. He was all too aware of this growing warmth inside him.  
  
"Hey, Mark..." Jackson was acting a little self-conscious as he removed the ice pack from his stomach. "Can I ask you to maybe... Kiss me again?"  
  
Mark's free hand flew to his mouth in shock at his request. He felt his whole body heat up, from his toes to his face. He let out an excited breath as he removed his hand to free his mouth so he could press his lips against Jackson's. Mark closed his eyes as he moved his hands to run through Jackson's damp hair. The pain in his shoulder and back didn't feel as bad when he was touching him.   
  
He traced his tongue against his teeth, and Jackson's darted out to meet him. Soft, wet sounds disturbed the previously quiet air as the sensation of their tongues entwining became more lustful. Mark leaned into Jackson further and pressed his back against the arm of the sofa, so he was leaning above him a little as they kissed. His hand trailed down Jackson's bare chest lightly, and he felt him tremble at the act. He repeated the action a couple more times, being mindful of the bruise on his stomach, until his hand hit waistband of Jackson's shorts.  
  
Mark was way past embarrassed, but his craving for Jackson had taken over almost completely at this point. His mind was only focused on him. They both needed some kind of release. Without any resistance, Mark started to pull down his pants. Jackson was already half hard, and when Mark grabbed his dick, he shivered.  
  
Mark began to pump him up and down. It was a little irregular thanks to it being his first time doing this to another person, and also his nerves, but it wasn't as if he had no experience at all. He used the knowledge from what he would do to himself while masturbating and just added what he wanted to do to him, himself. While he stroked Jackson, he trailed his lips down his jawline to his neck, where he bit and sucked at the skin lightly. Jackson let out a groan of self-indulgence and tipped his head backwards, allowing for more access. Mark let his tongue trail down his neck and to his chest, where he let it roll over his nipple. Jackson's soft moans were music to Mark's ears, and they only urged him on more. He was now completely hard - and so was Mark.  
  
Jackson reached out his hand to Mark's lower body which made him move away from his chest in surprise. He looked into Jackson's eyes that were alight with desire, not unlike his own. Now that Jackson was actually touching him back, he felt the embarrassment start to overwhelm him.  
  
"Jack..." Mark began to protest but Jackson shook his head.  
  
"Let me."  
  
Mark's vision went hazy at those feverish few words. Jackson pulled down his sweatpants and boxers a little so he could free Mark's erection. He then moved his fingers around it in an attempt to stir him up even more. Mark used the back of one of his hands to cover his mouth and stifle a moan. But determined not to be outdone, he started to move his hand on Jackson's dick again. They both began to lose themselves in the moment, each turned on by the others expression.  
  
Mark took his hand away from his mouth and moved in closer to Jackson once more. He put his hand back in his hair and placed his forehead on his. Both had begun to sweat a little. They were so close they could feel each others hot breath on their skin. Their mouths were so close, but something about their intense gaze on each others lips made Mark throb. It felt like earlier when they were in the street. When he wanted to be this close to him then as well. He brushed his nose against Jackson's as his eyes fluttered closed. The feeling of their hands moving in unison was almost too much to bear. Both their hands became virtually uncontrollable, and their dicks rubbed against each other occasionally. Mark moved his hand around so he could stroke them both at the same time. Jackson copied him and his movements almost instantly. Their quiet pants and moans filled the room as they jerked each other off like they were in a trance. Mark sometimes let a sound escape from his throat, and Jackson was beginning to gasp for breath.   
  
"J-Jack... I'm..." Mark felt slightly timid all of a sudden.  
  
In response to his quiet, desperate words, Jackson tilted his head up enough to close to small gap between their lips and moved his hand a little faster. Mark tried to hold his breath as they kissed, but in between when their mouths would open, he fought for air. The sensation was getting intense and he knew Jackson was also almost at his limit from the way he shook.  
  
Jackson pulled away from the kiss and moved to his ear.  
  
"Together." He whispered in a husky voice, before nibbling on his ear.  
  
All Mark could manage was a weak nod as his thoughts at this point were completely driven out by pleasure. They both jerked each other off vigorously. Mark tried desperately to hold his voice in, but failed as he let himself go. His cum splattered on both their hands and fell mostly on Jackson's chest. Straight after, Jackson let out a loud groan as he quivered and orgasmed as well, his cum landing on top of Mark's.  
  
Mark forced himself to hold his body up with his spare hand, even though all he wanted to do was collapse on top of Jackson. He couldn't because of his injury, so he let out a few ragged breaths before pushing his body backwards away from Jackson, where he could fall back against the soft sofa cushions. His hand was still dirty, and a little semen had got on his shirt. Regardless, he pulled his sweatpants and boxers back up to hide himself. The feelings of embarrassment he had managed to repress earlier by letting his lust take over were now beginning to fully surface, and he wasn't sure he could sit up and look at Jackson right now. He was also starting to feel the pain in his back and shoulder more vividly. Though he had no regrets about what just happened between them - it felt right. If their relationship hadn't changed from their brief kisses before, it certainly had now. There was probably no coming back from this moment. That's why how they reacted to it in the aftermath was probably more important than ever.  
  
He could hear Jackson trying to catch his breath.  
  
"Mark?" He spoke his name softly in between heavy breaths.  
  
Mark felt himself freeze up a little.   
  
"Yeah?"  
  
There was a pause.  
  
"I guess we'll need to take another shower, huh?" Jackson's voice sounded playful.  
  
Mark relaxed immediately and grinned.  
  
"Yeah, I guess we will."  
  
Jackson sat up and looked to purposefully ignore the still warm liquid on his chest. The first thing he did was pull up his shorts. He then used some nearby tissues that were on the coffee table in front of them to wipe his hand to the best of his ability. He did the same for his chest. Mark took the tissues that Jackson handed him and did the same - though he couldn't do much for his shirt. That would have to be thoroughly washed. They put the dirty tissues on the table for now. After, Jackson quickly threw his arms around Mark and rubbed their cheeks together.  
  
"This is the beginning of something great, right?" He asked, but it was almost as if it was rhetorical, like maybe he was just asking himself out loud.  
  
"Mm, yeah." Mark decided to reply anyway, but grimaced a little at the pain Jackson's arm was causing his shoulder.  
  
He appeared to pick up on it and drew away from him.   
  
"I almost forgot..." Jackson looked like he was condemning himself internally as he stared at Mark's shoulder. It was an easy thing to forget, considering what they just did.  
  
Mark took one of Jackson's hands - the clean one - and kissed the back of it a few times.   
  
"I'm always going to be by your side. This is nothing if it was the price for that."   
  
Jackson's cheeks went slightly red at his statement, but he smiled happily in return. He got up off the sofa and gently pulled Mark up with him.  
  
"I'll wash you in the shower." He squeezed Mark's hand.  
  
"You will?" Mark raised an eyebrow, obviously suspicious of his offer.  
  
Jackson stifled a laugh.  
  
"No funny business, I swear. Besides, you're the one that pounced me the last two times. I should be wary of you." He began to walk to the bathroom with Mark.  
  
"I-I..." Mark frowned and blushed furiously. "Shut up, Gaga."  
  
"You're so cute." Jackson smiled brightly back at him.  
  
The sight of it was so calming, Mark felt all his remaining anxiety fade away. He said the words he hadn't said out loud in his head. It was ridiculous, but he hoped they would get through to Jackson somehow, even if he couldn't give them a voice yet. They were burning inside him, crying to be let out, but Mark knew he couldn't say them. Shouldn't say them. Not yet.  
  
It looked like he was still afraid of losing him, after all.  
  
Mark gripped onto Jackson's hand tightly as they entered the bathroom.  
  
\--  
  
"I'm just saying..." Jackson was talking animatedly about something. "It shouldn't have been that big and it shouldn't have been there straight away when we woke up."  
  
"Mm." Mark listened while watching him affectionately.  
  
"I mean it!"   
  
"I know you do."  
  
Jackson sighed and looked away from Mark.  
  
"Sorry Gaga." Mark clung to his arm and pouted as he crouched down a little while they walked. "Thank you for getting rid of the spider."  
  
"I can't believe the first thing you said was, 'Kill it, Gaga!'" Jackson huffed and folded his arms - but Mark held on.  
  
"It was on instinct." Mark looked sulky as he tugged on him. "I'm scared of them."  
  
Jackson looked as if he suddenly realized something and put a hand over Mark's, finally turning to look at him again.  
  
"Wait, I'm kind of like your hero then?" He had his eyebrows raised, like he expected a certain answer and wouldn't take any other.  
  
"Yeah, Gaga." Mark uncurled his hand from around his arm and instead intertwined their fingers together. "You're my hero."  
  
Jackson suddenly stopped in the middle of the street and thrust his free hand out in the air like he was holding a sword up to the sky.  
  
"I'll fight them all off!" He yelled.  
  
The few people that were around turned to stare at him, but he didn't seem to care or notice. Mark was trying to hold in his laughter as he watched the scene before him. Jackson finally put his hand down and they resumed walking. He seemed to be in deep thought as he spoke again.  
  
"Isn't it crazy how they have eight legs though?" Jackson's eyes narrowed. "Imagine having to move eight legs."  
  
"I really don't want to." Mark snickered and swung their hands together in the air happily.  
  
It had been four days since that whirlwind of a night. Their days and nights had been relatively normal and calm since. Mark still had questions, of course. But his number one priority was to take care of Jackson. To make sure he kept that smile on his face, and his carefree attitude as much as possible. Both their injuries were only slightly sore now. If only the memory of how they received them would fade as fast.  
  
As they got closer to school, Jackson let go of his hand. Mark watched him walk off ahead a little and frowned deeply. This had happened every morning they walked together. He let go and didn't get close again until they were away from everyone else. It was confusing and a little hurtful more than anything else. While they hadn't been quite as close as they were that night, they were still very touchy feely at home. So this sudden distance made little sense.  
  
Mark put his now empty hands in his pockets and rounded the gate. As usual, there were a fair amount of girls waiting for him. Jackson was already surrounded by a group. He grinned and interacted with them easily. It bothered Mark more than he wanted to admit. His eyes fell to the floor, and the girls waiting for him were silent for a few moments as they watched him. They didn't even really approach him like they normally would.   
  
"Mark...?" One of the girls took a single step forward as she spoke up.  
  
He looked up and saw most of them didn't have their phones up to their faces, which was usually an indication that they were taking pictures. They clearly knew something was wrong.  
  
"Ah..." Mark let out a small noise of surprise.  
  
He felt a little bad, so he gave his best attempt at a smile. The girls seemed to collectively breathe a sigh of relief and smiled back.  
  
"You worried us for a second there." A girl with bright hair brushed her bangs out of her face as she voiced her concern.  
  
"Sorry, just tired." Mark rubbed one of his eyes with the back of his hand in an attempt to get them to believe him.  
  
The quiet chorus of them calling him cute convinced him that he was successful. He took one last glance at Jackson, before waving to the girls as he walked into the building.  
  
It felt lonely. The walk to school with Jackson made him forget that once they got to school, he'd suddenly turn aloof without even a single word. He couldn't mention it to him either. Something stopped him every time. It was getting to be too much, though. Like a dark cloud was constantly over his head when he was here.  
  
Mark walked into the classroom and nodded to the people who greeted him. He slung his bag over his chair and sat in it, placing his head down on the desk with his arms around it instantly. The lie he told earlier to pacify the group of girls seemed true all of a sudden. He was tired. He didn't want to be here and spend another day reaching out to Jackson, only for him to move away. It couldn't have been simply chance each time, right? It wasn't just a coincidence he'd move away just as he was about to touch him. He sighed quietly to himself. Maybe he should have just stayed home today. But that would have brought up more questions from other people, and he didn't want to unnecessarily worry anyone.  
  
Someone tapped him on the shoulder from in front of him. He slowly lifted his head up to see who had appeared.  
  
"Yo." JB lifted a hand up to lazily wave at him.  
  
"Oh, hey JB." Mark sat up straight in his chair and leaned back on it.  
  
"Are you still feeling unwell?" JB touched his forehead with the same hand he used to wave.  
  
"No, and I told you to stop feeling guilty." Mark smiled weakly at his friend.  
  
"I can't help it, I feel responsible for the six of you." JB ruffled Mark's hair and put his arm back on his own desk as he sat down.  
  
He felt a little lighter after hearing that. It meant he truly counted Jackson as one of them.  
  
"Thanks for that." Mark said in a low, but sincere voice.  
  
He pulled off JB's bucket hat from his head and laughed when he tried to grab it back with a shy smile. He was always so genuine, that even if he barely said anything, his quiet, but reliable presence made everyone feel better.  
  
Mark heard the familiar sound of laughter coming from the doorway and turned his head in the direction of it as if on instinct. He forced himself to keep the same expression he had on his face before he looked, so he wouldn't appear suspicious. Jackson and Jinyoung had just walked in and Jackson had his arm around Jinyoung's shoulders. Under the desk, Mark clenched his fists. In his head, he could only repeat one word.  
  
 _Why?  
  
_ He faced JB again and continued to laugh and keep his hat out of reach. Even though he felt a little sick at the sight, he had to power through it for now.  
  
"Oh, Mark!" Jinyoung jogged towards their desks and snatched the hat from him. "Yes..." His eyes turned to JB, with an evil glint in them. "It is mine to destroy."  
  
"Oh, come on." JB said in an exasperated fashion, but he was looking at Jinyoung with fondness clear on his features.  
  
Mark felt like something was weighing him down once more, so he angled his body away from everyone and looked out of the window beside him. He wanted to look at Jackson more than anything. The urge was overwhelming. But instead, he dug his fingers into his knees in an attempt to suppress it.  
  
He couldn't help but feel it when Jackson sat next to him at his own desk, though.   
  
JB wrestled his hat back from Jinyoung and stuffed it in his bag.  
  
"I will burn that hat..." Jinyoung pointed at JB and narrowed his eyes. "And that shirt."  
  
Mark watched him walk over to his seat in front of Jackson from the reflection of the window, then went back to gazing at the fields in the distance.  
  
"Hey, Jackson." Jinyoung's voice came from behind him, and Mark's ears perked up. But he made out like he wasn't listening. "You and Mark haven't posted a picture of you both in a while. The group chats have been crying out. Something like, 'Where has our Markson gone?'"  
  
"Markson?" Jackson paused for a few seconds. "Oh, I get it. Why not Jark though?"  
  
"I don't think that rolls off the tongue so easily." Jinyoung replied.  
  
"I think it does." Jackson muttered.   
  
Mark could imagine exactly how sullen his face had to look after that response. The thought alone made him smile lightly.  
  
"You didn't answer my question, Jack." Jinyoung pressed the issue.  
  
While Mark was somewhat interested in hearing the answer, he also kind of wanted the conversation to end. They were acting like he wasn't even here. JB had been the only one to really engage with him since he got into the classroom. It felt unbearable for Jackson not to pay attention to him. Mark hated how mixed up he felt at that fact. He never expected to be such a clingy person.  
  
"Maybe the appeal wore off?"   
  
Mark caught Jackson shrugging in the reflection. He couldn't help but bang his hands on his desk in frustration as he stood up. His chair made a loud squeaking noise as it scraped across the floor.  
  
"Bathroom." He muttered, avoiding eye contact with all of them as he made his way out from the classroom.  
  
Once he was in the hallway he kept walking, even after he clearly heard Youngjae call after him. He must have just arrived. But Mark couldn't think about that right now. He headed straight for the bathroom on the same floor.  
  
The door opened with a bang and he moved towards the row of sinks. He looked into the mirror straight ahead of him and took a deep breath. His expression was a mixture of exhaustion and anger. It was still the morning, but he already felt like he could sleep for hours just to recharge.   
  
_The appeal wore off?_ They both had plenty of pictures together, a couple they'd taken just that morning when they were brushing their teeth at the same time and Jackson was freaking out because the new toothpaste was black. Why was he lying? Was he ashamed?  
  
Mark covered his face with a hand and closed his eyes as he watched his features become distorted. He fought back tears and the urge to let out a loud sob. It wasn't the time to freak out and get depressed, but he couldn't help it. It preoccupied his every thought. The last thing he wanted to do was go back to that classroom. Yet the thing he wanted the most was to see Jackson's face. Two contradicting feelings were clashing inside of him and it was impossible to take a step in either direction.

He jerked violently as the door opened suddenly. His hand fell from his face and he watched the mirror in anticipation.  
  
"The guys told me you were here."

BamBam walked into view and stood next to Mark. He put an expensive looking camera down next to a sink. Mark simply raised an eyebrow at it.  
  
"I'm doing a project. Daily life at school." BamBam washed his hands with warm water as he spoke. His eyes watched Mark through the mirror.  
  
"Is that so?" Mark did his best to evade his gaze and acted only slightly interested in what he was saying.  
  
It was difficult to keep his composure. He'd come into the bathroom to be alone with his feelings, after all. Once he began to let his emotions show, it was hard to bottle them back up again so quickly.  
  
"It's a media studies project. The teacher saw how well I edited videos and asked me to do something for the whole school. It'll probably be shown in assembly one day." BamBam was obviously proud of himself.  
  
Mark took a few seconds to pull himself together some more, then looked at his friend. He gave him a smile and put a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"That sounds really great." He gave him a brief squeeze.  
  
"Yeah, thanks man. Yugyeom is gonna help me. I came to your classroom to tell the group I'd probably be filming a lot, but you weren't there." BamBam peered at Mark, as if looking for something in particular on his face. "I feel like I interrupted something when I came in here." He laughed a little awkwardly and briefly broke the tension in the air.  
  
"Hey, Bam. Can I ask..." Mark took a deep breath in. "Who told you where I was?"  
  
"Who told me?" BamBam frowned and thought back on it. "I think it was Youngjae. Then Jinyoung chimed in and mentioned you might have a stomachache or something?"  
  
Mark felt his chest tighten, but he pretended like this new information didn't bother him. How could he explain this to anyone else, when he himself didn't understand it?   
  
"But... You basically live with Jackson, right?" BamBam asked while walking over to the paper towels. "Are you both ill? He didn't look so good when I saw him a little while ago."  
  
Mark's eyes widened. Was Jackson really ill?   
  
"Thanks, BamBam." Mark dashed to the door, but turned around to face him one more time. "Oh, you can film whatever you want. Since when has anyone in this school needed permission?" He grinned faintly.  
  
He couldn't make a decision before, but the thought of Jackson being ill made it easy. Of course he'd go back to the classroom after hearing that. The other people wandering the halls before class began were like a blur as he jogged back. He forcibly slid open the door and his eyes fell on Jackson who was still sat at his desk, it didn't even look like the loud noise from the door surprised him.  
  
"Gaga!" Mark said, a little louder than he intended as he rushed over to him. "Are you feeling okay?"  
  
Jackson looked up in shock and locked eyes with Mark for the first time in what felt like weeks.  
  
"What?" He blinked a couple times in confusion. "I'm fine, Mark."  
  
Mark frowned and reached out to touch his forehead, but before he could, Jinyoung spoke up.  
  
"Haven't I told you two to stick to one language?" He stood next to Jackson with his arms folded and a smug look on his face.  
  
"Jinyoung." Jackson grabbed onto his arm and moved towards him a little. "Forgive me?" He pulled a purposefully cute face, which in turn cracked Jinyoung up.  
  
Mark let his hand hover in the air for a few moments as he watched them interact. It fell onto Jackson's desk with a defeated, small thud. He walked away from them to sit back in his seat. In front of him, JB seemed to be resting his eyes as he slouched over on his own desk and behind him Youngjae was playing a game on his phone. Mark didn't have to look to know that Jackson and Jinyoung were now playing around with each other. As Mark's attention turned to the window once more, he wished more than anything he was out there, away from this. He should have stayed in the bathroom. As the bell chimed to signal the start of the class, he sighed knowing it was now even too late to go home.  
  
Lunchtime rolled around and the group sat together in an unused classroom so they could eat in peace. BamBam was filming anything and everything, but Mark couldn't act overly cute or happy for the camera right now. He sat on the windowsill with his head against the glass as he took small bites of his sandwich.   
  
"Mark!" BamBam and Yugyeom approached him. "You're the best at acting cute here. Show off to the whole school."   
  
They were both giggling as if it was some inside joke. Mark didn't want to disappoint them so he made a peace sign with his fingers and smiled. It was a very half-assed attempt, but he just wasn't feeling it. Especially when Jackson was being fed by Youngjae not too far from him.  
  
"Film that." Mark pointed to them and then quickly looked away.  
  
"Ohh!" BamBam turned the camera in their direction. "Good catch, Mark!"  
  
"Yeah..." He covered up a sigh by pretending it was a yawn.  
  
It felt like this day was never going to end.  
  
"I heard something earlier." JB said casually. "There are a bunch of girls who are thinking of confessing to us."  
  
"Really? I thought that kind of thing was forbidden between them?" Jinyoung asked in between mouthfuls of ramen.  
  
"I think they're going through a rebellious phase." JB joked.  
  
"I don't want to have to reject them!" Youngjae whined while looking a little troubled.  
  
"Maybe you should go out with one of them then." Jinyoung seemed serious, but broke out into a teasing smile.  
  
"I don't have time for that, man." Youngjae shook his head. "What about you Jackson?"  
  
"It'll be hard to turn down someone that's for sure..." Jackson was clearly thinking deeply about it.  
  
Mark quickly became irritated. Was he really thinking about it? The ball of anger inside him was just growing bigger every time Jackson opened his mouth to speak. He couldn't contain it anymore, so he slammed his feet on the ground as he jumped from the windowsill. Everyone turned to look at him, including Jackson.  
  
"Gaga. Come with me. Right now." His tone left no room for argument.  
  
He opened the door with a little too much force and waited in the hall for him. Jackson appeared moments later and closed the door behind him.  
  
"Mark..." Jackson said murmured cautiously. He wouldn't even look at him.  
  
"What is this?" Mark had his arms folded and he was gripping his own arms tightly in an attempt to keep himself in control. "Why do you act like I don't exist when we get to school? I can't deal with this anymore, Gaga. I just can't."  
  
He felt the tears begin to well up in his eyes and he hated himself for it. And he hated that he hated he was having a perfectly human response to being hurt.  
  
"Mark, no." Jackson stepped up to him and properly looked him in the face, regret clouding his own. "You're crying?"  
  
Mark let out an exasperated sigh and tired to turn away from Jackson, but he grabbed onto his wrist to stop him.  
  
"I'm so sorry. Oh god, I made a terrible mistake..." Jackson placed a hand on Mark's cheek with is other hand and made him face him. "I didn't want anyone to catch on, I thought you would be embarrassed. I thought if I was around you all the time at school, you'd be annoyed because then no one else would really be able to get near you." He closed the gap between them and put his forehead on his shoulder. "I really messed up. I was so nervous that I overdid it and hurt you."  
  
Mark sniffed and rested his head on Jackson's gently.  
  
"You're not ashamed of me, then?" His voice was wobbly and quiet.  
  
"Never!" Jackson yelled. "I just... I don't know how this works. When we're alone, it's easy. Even when we're with other people, I think about you, but doing what I want to do is more difficult... I was just stuck on what to do now our relationship has changed, and went the completely wrong way about it. I didn't want to cause you trouble..."  
  
Jackson moved his head and pulled Mark's closer until their lips met. It was a gentle kiss, and Mark felt how truly sorry he was through it. They separated, but Jackson trailed a few more soft kisses over his face before completely drawing away.   
  
"You can cause me trouble, I don't mind..." Mark let out a short, muffled laugh.  
  
Jackson's eyes darted about Mark's facial features as he contemplated something.  
  
"Alright." He appeared to come to a conclusion all by himself. He turned his head in the direction of the classroom they were in and shouted. "BamBam, get to the front of the school with your camera!"   
  
"Jack, what are you doing?" Mark wore a puzzled expression.  
  
"Come with me!" Jackson started running, pulling Mark along with him by his wrist.  
  
They ran like that for a little while, until they stopped at the stairs to the roof.  
  
"I'm not sure we can go up right now, there are too many people watching..." Mark muttered in between small gasps as he tried to catch his breath.  
  
"No, we **have** to go up there now." Jackson looked determined and started climbing them with Mark not far behind.  
  
At the top, he opened the door. Thankfully, it was neither snowing or raining, so they walked out under the sky comfortably.  
  
"Jack..." Mark looked at the edge of the roof from a distance. His feet felt heavy. "What are we doing here?"  
  
This location was a place that gave him mixed feelings. It was where he met Jackson, so that made him happy, but it was also the place Jackson went when he felt his lowest. It was the place everyone could have lost him from.  
  
"Don't worry, don't worry!" Jackson smiled widely over his shoulder at Mark.  
  
They stood at the end of the roof and Jackson let go of his wrist. Mark still felt confused as to why they were here in the first place, but as he looked down below, he saw BamBam behind his camera. The whole group was stood behind him, waiting for something. Jackson cleared his throat.  
  
"Everyone!" He shouted as loud as he could, his voice echoing to the people beneath them. "I've got something I'd like to say!"  
  
People looked up and quickly made a fuss. They got their phones out and stood still as they waited for his next words. This act would have been odd, if it hadn't actually been par for the course at this school. Everything regarding the group would no doubt be recorded by someone - which is why all of them were grateful for any privacy they got.  
  
"Firstly, I'd like to apologize to Mark in front of you all. I was insecure and acted in a way that hurt him deeply." Jackson turned to Mark and bowed deeply to him.  
  
The crowd below all began murmuring to each other. Jackson stood up straight again and gave Mark a heartfelt smile before turning back to the crowd.  
  
"And secondly, I want everyone to know..." He took a deep, deep breath. "I love Mark. I love him more than anything in this world." His hand flew out to point down at the people beneath him. As he did, the bracelet that was hidden by his sleeve became apparent as it fell off his wrist a little. It sparkled magnificently in the sunlight. "Anyone thinking of confessing their feelings to him will have to go through me first!"  
  
Mark's face washed blank with confusion, like his brain cogs couldn't turn fast enough to take in the information from what he was hearing, and from what he was seeing with his wide eyes. Jackson just confessed his feelings in front of all these people? It didn't seem real. He needed to pinch himself, but he couldn't will his arms to move. As soon as Jackson turned his head and they locked eyes with each other, his cheeks burned hot with embarrassment.  
  
The crowd was a mess. There was a lot of screaming and wailing, but neither could focus on that. Jackson walked up to Mark and held both his hands, a shy smile on his face.  
  
"Did you hear me?" He whispered.

"I always hear you, Gaga." Mark muttered back. His heart was thumping in his chest and it was so loud he was worried Jackson would hear.  
  
"I'll say it just for you this time." Jackson moved his cheek to rest against Mark's and lowered his voice to quietly confess next to his ear. "I love you. With all that I am."  
  
Mark felt like his heart was going to burst. He felt overwhelmed in the best possible way and he had to force back tears of happiness. It looked like when it came to Jackson, he was more prone to crying. But that alone spoke volumes of how much he felt for him in return. He made him feel everything so strongly, just like how he felt about him. Just like how he would always feel about him.  
  
"I love you too, Jackson."   
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> I wanted to end a chapter on less of a cliffhanger than usual.  
> I hope you're ready for a much more clingy, and maybe more horny Jackson?  
> Whatever will happen when Jackson initiates.
> 
> I know this is another long chapter, I didn't intend for it to happen!  
> On a personal note, thank you to everyone who sympathized with my depression. I hope everyone suffering manages to overcome it, even if it's just a small step in the right direction.  
> I hope you enjoyed ❤


End file.
